Encyclopedia Computoria; Comic/Cultural Links

2010-11-23T10:55:00.000-08:00

Commercial Business

What's wild are marms in commercials, I saw one who says we have 30 more tsk tsks to eat out at her restuarant! I'm thirsty for more knowledge of her memos.
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No wonder we could use more math! All over the world there's global warming, and what are we guarding against? Chips that fall out of the box. (They've solved this with a one way valve for your hand into the box.) Thank goodness for Ohio!

They have a new tooth rinse I saw in the commercial, high speed. It's refreshing like floss when you yell for the RN and already she's smooching with you!

When I was a teen, I was interested in Prayer for Beauticians When she Built My Faith in Her in 21 Ways..

And now it's 15 seconds on the tube, by the hour you wake up, you've saved labor day!

There was another fistfight today in the rich field of lawnmower racing, how will they punch out a lawn, dunno.

What's the best of all about air conditioners at christmas? Advent.

How to always be fit...try to increase intake of giant jugs of condensed milk!

I heard the phone ring, just once the other day, how to see who it was, one way was to call all three billion phones on earth, a higher speed way is to call, Laura, Rose Daddy, Mamma, Edward
this way I'm wise!

They found what may be 8 more earthlike worlds this month, to me, ours will always be number one (see Ma Bell above!).

My mother says, you're not listening, so I was wondering if she thought I was trying to be a good listener or a great conversationalist, we both are!

I was hoping to invent an inflation washing machine with a tube filled with air shakes around from the top, where you add your stuff in. I can implode machines, hours are filled with perpetual motion.

A washing machine is good for sleep when the waves wash me ashore in my wave powered bed!

Poet emeritus, doesn't rhyme, so poetess emeritus always must!

Did you know just 15% of women write for the Wikipedia; my sister the author will save it! She knows, like, typing at 3,000,000 mph! LOL..

They have a remote control for dogs, connected to a collar, and vibrations to train, left, sit, up stay, stop button if the dog has the remote, and translation in 27 arfin languages!
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2007-12-21T08:18:00.000-08:00

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RAT HUMOR

BAT HUMOR

CULTURE PACK

What I've learned about music in 35 years CLICK HERE>> MUSIC

Evolution of Music;
Music Origin and Evolution of

COMIC MUSICAL DEFINITIONS.

How To Paint and Draw an A 2 Z ToolBox Of My Own Motifs
and My Own Mixed Media Click Here.

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2007-09-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

SPRING

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Time for spring cleanup, all springs are clean!
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How do you know if in May or June you won't be stung by bees? When it's raining and the raindrops weigh pounds more than the bee and ahh, SPLASH!!
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You always know me in March. I'm the one with the umbrella with a built in flower jug! Powered by a lightning connection to the stars, with a fan for wind, and GPS moonroof standard option!
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I never have to trim, my lawn is cement. Has a yellow flower painted on it by hand, the lawn was painted by a woman named Sandy, life's a beach!
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You know it's good sleeping weather, when you look up and see a giant fuzzy cushion on the roof!
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March is when marms always ask "Where's polyester from?" and they say, "A polyester plant!"
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March weekends are when the weather, weight, and FM reruns lighten up. And hopefully, old songs in the original Ancient Egyptian.
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It's well known bees can't sting the month of May. How can a month have hives in an ambulance?
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March is not all bad, cozy actually! Even the beach is cozy when you relax by the pool while wearing a pair of warm and fuzzy flippers!
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Dolphins are the only other animal than us who see themselves in a mirror. Love Rain, Wave Rain!
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To make the sound of the dolphin on the TV show Flipper, they speeded up a chipmunk. Actually chipmunks are chipmunks in March even without the high speed web!
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What's good about May Celebrations? They're more broadband than a sharpened hat to read the www!
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2007-09-14T09:10:00.000-07:00

BAT HUMOR

This bat puts giant audio and sound machines all around the room, The other bat says "What are you doing? "

The first bat he says,
"A room with a view!"

"My mom left christmas presents and a wreath over her bat house?" "Yes! She loves bats. She always wants to see a bat out of Noel!"

Why do bats make good realtors?
Low overhead!

Why do bats watch soap operas on TV? They sleep well in the PM hours.

Why do bats like swim marathons?
There's lots of shouts when they arrive!

Why do bats sleep upside down?
Low blood pressure!

Bats like to be outgoing and say hi to other bats, bat gossips. Why? Because "Bats of a feather......"

You go to this wonderground where it's always a comfy temperature and it's 357 million years old, echo river, rooms 200 feet up to the flowing fountains of stone, the crystal lakes and blue, pink, and radiant waterfalls, and you say, who wouldn't think of heavan's anjels! Kind words are the song of the world, and more of worth to type in on the web.

If people are praising of the bats and are kind to life, life would be more like family, not The Adams Family! -

In evolution it was moderately clean to make us strong, Why spend millions of years on a clean wall? Click here!

Some say alternatitive RN's are great if the alternative is exercise with Denise Austin!
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2007-09-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

ELEVATOR JOKES

What does an elevator and an MP3 have in common? The elevator has a song when you push the on button of the machine!

Why do anjels like escalators? More exercise than an elevator to heaven, and they can count all their advantages while they wait up!

What's an elevator airbag? A safe invention when you bounce from the foundation to where you got in!

How to save on weed eaters while in an elevator? By not buying any.

Why do myopics like elevators? A box they can read!

Why do railroads like elevators? The elevator biz is up. No competition!

There are elevators on some ships, airships!

Why would the creative sing hers in elevators? It's better to shout awomen!

Did you hear about how a mogul got rich in the elevator biz? How is this achieved? Simple "Buy low and sell high!"
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2007-09-14T08:44:00.000-07:00

Music

As you may find from the following, I'm not a fan of old music (except before like 1750) but old wild celebrations are alright!

If you collect a lot of old rare songs by reading about the sound,

They'll know you're a real musician when you even put their audio memos up to the Post Office Box to hear!

If you breathe music, you sleep music, and eat music, to you, after silence, music comes closest to a visual whiff n poof.

*******

Music is the only cheap thrill in life without a vice squad and a raid, if the wife sez no.

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Signs The Concert You're Attending is Not The Real Wave Radio

It's hosted by Mamma IV and the Hug Station.

"Amplifiers" are just big flower urns. Most songs contain a plug for Ear Attenuation.

You're asked to put on a hat and sunglasses and the next thing you know, you're being introduced as The Boss.

Hoss sitting next to you brought a zoom and has already seen 20 orbits of the comets.

They're playing "Turn Up Shag, Not Music, The Rug, The Rug!".

You spot Mariah stage-diving, and the crowd is chanting, "Moussse! Moussse! Mousse!"

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Glossary of Music

Adagio: When you put reduced salt herbs on a music site.

Accidentals: Notes you got smashing up your Yugo while playing the marimba at 200 mph.

Ad Librium: When your wife eats all the 80's Volumes of Madonna in the shush room, and you want more.

Agnus Dei: A famous Taurus who was a Church Hymn Author.

Allegro: When you play runs on the violin with itty bitty boots on your hands.

Altered Chord: When you offer the Yamaha line of Ovations to the power station as an offering to the gods.

Atonality: When they would know the words but not the sound in 1905, and will in 333.

Augmented fifth: A Jug Band of Booze to go.

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Breve: Army Navy Air Force; The National Anthem sung in the rain before you go for a sail in your cushion in a boom in the arena.

Cadenza: When they all jump up in the air in opera, sort of a wave in the arena, except with no music most of the time.

Clausula: When Santa sees the women in swimwear slide past in the wave machine, and he when sees the Mrs.

Compound Meter: A rondezvous where a follower and the beautious lady unify for exersis-sing.

Counterpoint: Highest note ever heard by those above the contenental shelf in a submarine. Still taught in many colleges, a sleep learning science.

Countertenor: An over the shelf hash pitcher who always sings in R Round.

Da Capo al Fine: When she applauds his real shag rug during the show.

Detache: When musicians yell so loud their orthodontist and opthamologist saves.

Discord: Music played by wife so you know she likes you because of just how she bangs pots and pans, derived from the original greek, "dishchord" a washing machine.

Duration: Scooby's wait time before a munch.

Estampie: A pizza hut memo they put on ads to AZ.

Fermata: A brand of cheeze made especially for opera singers, a lot like Dolby or Colby but with lots of shouts.

Gregorian chant: A way of singing in unison, invented by monks to save more with Ma Bell on the rates.

Harmonic Minor: An infant who is way out of tune.

Harmony: Cash paid for comics.

Heroic Tenor: When your teen burps a song without a bread machine.

Interval: Distance between sounds, where I know neither but finally realize about the speed of light and the Mandelbrot Set.

Isorhythm: One memo to the stars, "What is wrong with my Lexus"?

Isorhythmic motet: A jug band in one ear and Bose in the other.

Lasso: Rare song unherd outside the west

Mean-Tone Temperament: When the music is so bad you hope for silence is the golden rule, solved by AN, not Anti Noise, "Noel Already!"

Messiah: An oratorio by Handel performed at Christmas by orators who have rehearsed, and many who have stopped rehearsing.

Modulation: When your wife says she thinks she'll slip into something more comfy, and it's a box of cheeze crunchies!

Motet: When the kid you hired clipped the lawn with weed tweezers.

Musica ficta: A music of faith, when the landlord generously allows too much from others but sends up heat religiously, or once a month at Memorial Day.

Neums: A way to remember names of songs on the radio without no goofs, see you remember more!

Orchestral Suites: What makes opera go on till the sings lady fat.

Pause: When paid to rest for hours in 4/4 time if real bad on the drums, but then who can be on the drums if in jail for dipping a blendor in the ocean?

Prolation: When you make it to the NCAA, and you know what the weather is like at the top-A Major!

Recitative: Rap Music

Sine proprietate: When the song you wrote about The Price is Rich now owns your Yugo.

Tempo: Anywhere in a song you are and how to get there by 4/3 of physics.

Tempus imperfectum: Atomic Watch without a built in fatbust machine.

Tempus perfectum: Einstein's atomic wrist watch with built in timer, train station, and the cosmos.

Trill: What it feels like being near the high wire goddess when you're in the circus.

Trope: What your wife the high wire goddess will never do over a 900 Mhz wire!

Trotto: A horse who sings faster than mom marathons out west.

Vibrato; Shaking of the church walls and roof when the doctor or nurse is called to the afterlife during silent worship..

2007-09-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

Wheel of Fortune

This dude winds $30,000 and they say Thirty thousand dollars! THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Why do they say this? So he'll win twice as much!

Some would say because the Wheel of Fortune is so easy to win, it's easy cash, but by inventing Spell Write they've assured that celebrity moms out west will not have to eat soup in Z to A order when jazzersizing! I'm telling the truth.

And, in all the times I've watched The Wheel I've never heard of anybody anywhere who's lost an Isuzu or even so much as $17.76 in the Chevrolet Revolution!

Gallstones are not boosted 67% on the wheel! It's aerobic if they are fit when it's the Final Go Round!

They say Wheel in the business PR events has a circus atmosphere-That's not a Wheel-it's a Turbo Boost Ring And They're Under The Big Pot!

On the Wheel they have the latest in headache solutions in the ads. There are no problems or so they say in these ads, many people watch these shows because they are the only relief good enough for headaches caused by so much cash!

I know the wheel web site is genuine, I remember soap operas where Vanna sings in the afterlife!

This one lady went on in swimwear and boxing gloves and won 10,000,000,000$ a trip to Aruba, and a PHD in biochemistry. How'd she do it? They asked her to pick the consonants and a vowel and in her boxing outfit she was savvy- she just picked rstlne!

This week is the Jeapardy Champions Competition, actually I've watched twice. Last March a woman won 250,000. I'm watching with high hopes for her, I can't wait to see what she will won!

They also have foreign versions The Wheel in other countries..

The Wheel in Dutch has Vanna White Water Rafting. She wears swimfins and swimwear and spinning umbrellas to cause good luck, the host is Boat Sailship. In Dutch When they whirl the RV on the Wheel in the final round, it's always a finmobile!

The Wheel is a giant shimmering bubble of foam. The Dutch parking lot is blue and and Olympic Sized, a sort of dive in cinema, after all who can park a raft?
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One good thing about the Wheel is even while how they earn seems to be usually the same, the prizes and cash are always so unusual!

They have these emergency weather cautions on my box during the show sometimes, then back to Pat and Vanna, they just earned somebody another emergency luxury trip to Aruba!

Did you see The Wheel on October 10 08? The lady spun the 1 million dollar space on the Wheel in the first spin, won the main celebration without going bankrupt (just 20,000 or so)--then they took the one million dollar spin and put it in the small wheel at the Bonus round, just one in 27 chance she'll win (she's looking a bit dissapointed at this point, they aren't so generous with a million as she thought-but she was!) then she solves the puzzle, opens up the memo, and it's 1 million dollars -and 20,000 and 27 cents! I think she may have practiced on wheels or maybe she just has Spin The Web Softwear!

What's good about Vanna is she spells her commas so well in inspirational cheer, like when she walks in the rain she both swims and jogs in one exercise!
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2007-09-04T17:05:00.000-07:00

Real Comics From Real Weather Maps! When Is March This Year?

When the carplane will start even if it's a ship!

And if it's a yacht, "You're rich, You're rich!"

How to get rich with yatchts? Sales!

Brain waves may make your sleep images visual via MRI and software some Science Sites say. Fast asleep with a magazine under the cushion, high speed sleep learning!

Dogs can sniff out unfair situations and are jealous when the other dog is praised Austrian researchers reported Monday. Even so the dog won't or will sue the woman who lives with flower boxes up the street, she has 257 stations!---

I read in the memos where a drunk driver ran over himself after he fell out of his car with no serious injuries and the machine continues off, he says hopefully he'll recieve what he deserves for being moderately active!

"Choochy the Runaway poodle delays flights at Boston airport for 17 hours and 7 planes while they chased the pooch round."

Arf they will go into the wild blue yonder, in months!

"Relatives settled a 16-month cat custody battle in MO."

The egyptian goddess always wins, no doubt!

There are good herbs, a great herb would stop the dog barking and smooth out heat waves!-

If a realtor winterizes in autumn, what does a math genius do with cash and cones in March? He Summerizes!

Did you hear about that man who returned where he lived for business and a drunk woman was on the roof? The woman said, "7 11's are on the house!"

I saw this ad today, if you sweat in the heat it's great to wear a coat in Miami beach! You win more if the swimmers wear ear muffs!

2007-09-04T17:03:00.000-07:00

RAT HUMOR
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"Did you know Disneyland has had the 2nd largest navy of anywhere in the world?"

"Wow! Viva la Mozzerella, Blue Cheeze!"

"Did you know a person can get ill just from use of a mousetrap?"

"Don't worry, there are no mouse traps in Disneyland. I got the advantage in 1879 but I died and don't have it anymore!"

"Wow! A Complete Cure!"

L; It's true that Disney was actually afraid of mice? How did he edit?

R; "A giant modem."

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What does a rat wear to think about cheeze?

A rat's hat!

"A rat will eat anything! Wood!, metal, cement! There's nothing a mouse won't eat!"

"I can think of one thing, What!"

"No-! Not cheeze!" "The one thing a mouse won't eat is, a television that has a 30 minute weight off infomercial on it! It's so high priced, who could buy it?"
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"How does a mouse realize if he's in mouse heaven?"

"A fountain of rummage!"
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Two rats were talking, and one said to the other, "If you were challenged to a duel, and Wii Fi's were named as the weapon, and you sing so bad you laugh so much it bruises the wall, has justice been done?"
--
The other says, "Not if you've not seen me sing and play!"

......

Why didn't the mouse sell his Christmas mug?"

Not a creature was stirring, even with a bread machine!

2007-09-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

Mom’s Labor Day of Rest for Christmas

In the source of the orbs
At the heart of all zephyr and wooze
She knows just how well the hands of time will march
Like a cosmic watch powered by celestial booze

If the bleachers in August will boom in zoom rooms
The Braves will find waves in the rain
Knowing much more than TV ads about schmooze
She's saved us much more than our brain

When the ruffs have by floss no more waffles in reams
And roofs just by counting more sheep sew more jeans

And when mom’s heard the 10,000th ruse

She always seems to know just what’s up at the zoos

Thousands of whirls of rockets, silk, age for us
12billion percent more than her maxi-mom wage for us

Glory That Shines in the Dawn

With Radio
Images, Works Her Wonders Broadcast
Opals, Sapphire

Praised For
Amazing Us; We Love You,

Love

mOm!

2007-06-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

COMICS A2Z

I think Upppp Airways would most be improved by a high level meeting of Chocohol Unanamous!

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AHHH!/ I've found great relief with pleasure, I live near this woman who exercises with cheeze, she chewses to be fit!

AUTO/Wheels have a lot of EMF. Some people go in the auto shop and it's a shock, when they see the prices on alignment.
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I said, "Why rotate wheels? Just raise the world!"
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AIR TRAVEL/Why we sympathise with airline hostesses. Their job is often at high pressure, and with long hours at 9oo mph!
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ALASKA Sarah Palin has a great idea to save money; A giant portable heat box to heat Alaska! Or, just air condition Mexico, who has more Christmas!
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AGRICULTURE It's a record crop and with record subsidies this year. Personally I believe we must take action right away, like cashing out on that 47th rerun of Millionaire each time.

BEAUTY Women are with hair color like red and yellow, and if you see a lot of beauticians up in the branches in autumn you'll know why!
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I saw a woman at party last month who's sweet, well actually she's so cozy, the mirror melted!
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BRILLIANCE I heard about this teen who was so amazing she was able to say the day of the year like in 1472, June the 12th was Monday, or March 35th 1627 was a Saturday. And I read she was on the beach and almost drowned in 1979. I say almost because the CPR team were so smart they saved her by way of her brilliance with this skill. You may wonder how her skill at knowing what day in 1908 saved her, simple, she told them, "Use mouth to month resucitation!"
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BULL FIGHTERS/This may look like a cloth with a yellow "Yield" sign on it, actually it's a way for bull fighters to stop bulls that just had two months of driver's ed!
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BLIND DATE/"How was your blind date?" When they asked her to speak and she said, "I'm watching what I eat, Yum Yum!"
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BLONDES
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Q: How do blonde braincells scream? A:YELLOW REAL GOLDEN.
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Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: HYDROG KNOW PEROXIDE
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Q: How do you learn a blonde's intelligence? A: Ask her her name and number.
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Q: How does a blonde stop conversational distractions? A: She starts to play the violin while she talks!
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Q: If you see A blond going to London on a plane through all the radiance, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Ask her to sit on the wall or the roof!
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I wrote a book for blondes and this is no problem because with some blondes I know she can read without a heat lamp!!

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BOOZE/What's great when they install a computer sofa with a broadband cushion in internet cafes? You wouldn't fall off the edge of the web in 1,000 web seconds!
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CATS AND DOGS make us feel like super heroes, they walk through walls 3 times a day with sound, so my brain exercises for life!
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CRIME/We Live in a town so small, the robbers ask if you have money and if not they lend mom a debit VISA!
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CHRISTMAS/If you have a plugged in Xmas, your trimmer mower throws the lights and icicles and ornaments and star on the branches, and first it trims it.
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They now have a Hallmark Sounds Good Card that is guaranteed to be amazing, it's the story of ROM and URL ette, the song is worth 25,000 in platinum chips saved from 25 years ago in the stone age when ROM was throwing stones and chips to URLettes window, updated for the 29.95 s.
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To make your Christmas economic, why not sell or rent your old resolutions that were the best from Auld Ang Syne? If you got good use of them others may also.
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COLLEGE/ What's the most important inspirational motivation for college seniors the finals? Exercises with the sweet marm!
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Cleaning/Why should a machine sweep my floor? With all the sofas on mine, labor is more saving than layaway!
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DIET/I've been dieting, and I'm real fit, Real Fit. I was doing my marathon exercises the other day and fell. Landed on the roof!

Plant food seems to not be a trend, it's here to stay. Why? If you're a gardener, you already have lots!
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ELECTRONICS/You know you have a cheap CD player, if the laser beam is a cheeze warehouse bizboom!

Even so this is grate if all your songs you like are not sharp or round!
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EXERCISE/There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She must have liked to jog a lot for fitness, if her room was a Triple Wide!
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FITNESS/The health trend was so wild in the 90's sumo wrestlers were taking up Golden Gloves to stay overweight.
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GARDENING/I've found how to cash in on the health and fitness boom, a diet where eating so much for exercise they stay fit by weeding.
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HEALTH/ I saw this ad "New Invention Allows you to Stay Young Forever!! GUARANTEE works or your money back." But if you pay the 19.95? Is it yours to save for a million years?
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My father was always concientious about Halloween. If there was an alarm at the haunted house, he would call a high level meeting of the AAA!
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HOUSE/Have you heard of the rug doctor, when you arrive at the ER, the RN is all hot and fuzzy!
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HOUSE/I see this business PR where they say you can add metal roofing over your existing roof. It works well even for thatched roofs but you have to wait till 227 BC in the rain for some ye old roofs!
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It would be good if your lawn bounced you up in the air and exercises you like a giant trampoline, you'd want a good outfit so if you land on your head, you would always be on that site, Mindspring!
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JOKES /Thanks to VHS, old jokes never die, they just rest and then ascend unceremoniously to cartoon heavan!
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KIDS/Kid to father, "Even if candy spoils my dinner, it's good to know exercise is good for Victoria Principal and me!"
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LIFE/If life was the way it should be when you're good Yule have a Well of a Christmas in Maui, Rhymes with Luau when they are in sideways AA Spelling stores!
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"Don't look back" so they say. If you do a mysterious transformation may make your wife turn into a road map!
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Welcome wagon when you move in the neighborhood, you hope they bring a few installments. No outlaws, just inlaws!

MATH, The order to operate in algebra is MDSA, Multiply, Divide, Add Subtract, My Dear Aunt Sally. What's good about Aunt Sally is her weather maps are 50/75 with rain on one side and blessed light on the other! She's so strong she doesn't flip a coin, she flips GPS and the Old World!
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Motels/What's a healthy cleaning woman? One who has mania klepto and saves lots of towels from the occupants to the biz.
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MOTORCYCLES/What's good about motorcycles? You save on wheel alignment!
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A motorcycle is like youth when the boss arrives on his 10,000 Yamaha acting like a infant!
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MONEY/What's it like to be rich? I've read it's where you live in a house in Beverly Hills, start the washing machine, and the swimming pool spins around!
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MONEY/Life is funny, you take out 100,000 worth of fire insurance, and your Christmas Lights on the roof you never took down to save power light up in August anyway!
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MUSIC/Can you imagine, if Elvis were alive today, looking up and saying to the secretary, Write this down PeggySue, "Awh Ahuh Uh!"
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Some have music in their veins and are willing to play for glory, but even so they're willing to accept an IV of platinum cash for a sold out recording contract, if Mariah sings so!
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There's a rumor, so far unconfirmed. There will be a Beatles Reunion this year, live!
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They say Bach or Beethoven musicians aren't paid a lot but anyone who's strong enough to pack up a concert grand after each show with the Boston Harmonic, must be in good with lots of realtors!
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It's easy to play an instrument by ear with both ears if one ear plucks and the other modulates!

Mozart died young. He just lived to be 35. At any rate it seemed like he was 28 most of his life...

NEIGHBORS/How to know if they're loud. If the owner of the nearby train station asks them to not yell while they're in the B&O!
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OPTOMIST/What's a optimists hopeful weather report in August? Snow in the form of rain and heat in March, and March.
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OUTDOORS/High Resolution is like bringing the outdoors right in your living room, and the stars like Vanna reach RV niRVana!
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OHIO/Did you know Ohio is upside down? The underwater motel off the beach is the land down yuppers!
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PIZZA/What prices. At the local take out pizza biz they use a simple form you fill out or in, "What will be your total worth last month after expenses?"
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PERSONALITIES
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S; Do you know who I am?
C; Was "Rich" A trick question when you were on The Price is Right?
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PERSONALITIES/Deep down in her perm jug I realized she was a real sort of cosmotologist when she pulled a hydraulic lift out of her purse to lighten up her mirror!
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REAL ESTATE/The contractor says we would be alright with 7/8 of a bathroom, even so the bowl sink and tub are like ancient greek geometry, hyperbowls with Ode to An Ancient Ur!
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RELIGION/Many women have agreed with me about religion, like Sue a lady I know she believes in VISA once a month, and she's in the Heavenly Housecleaning Biz 24/7!
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RESORTS/You always know when you're in a rich resort, a row boat with a exercise machine, a chandilier and a sauna!
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SUMMER/Droughts in summer are good for the economy. If it's a rainy day in the months saved up, April isn't a giant swimming pool.
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Summer where I live is when it's so hot the woman up the road stops by and asks for a cup of soap to take a hot sauna while she goes out for a walk in the rain!
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SLEEP/A sofa cushion good for sleep, and snuffle and driving pigs to market. The feline won't fall asleep on an empty stomach!

Felines are good for sleep when they whiff you. Purrfumes!
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SECRETARY/This secretary asked me TM, if I liked my memos double spaced or more. I said more, by the way what does TM have to do with memos? So she went out and bought two machines, Zen she had 4 and 8.. and Zen she had 20.....!
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SAFETY/It's better to be safe. If you're in the hospital because of a injury, don't open any memo that says, GET WELL TOO SOON with a return stamp from The ER Unit of the County Medical Center.
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Soft Drinks/There are so many chemicals in soft drinks when you buy a pack at the Gomart you often take the Pepsi Challenge and end up in zoom with the stars and remember Halleys, the national anthem, and the stars in shboom shboom swirls of fizz!
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SPACE EXPLORATION/What would be good about the lawn when living on the moon in 2057? The lawn is always trimmed with tensil!

SPORTS/Did you hear about that thief who unwisely tried to rob a Ju Jit Su Training Biz the other day? Even the CashBox Machine knew the moves, he wasn't leaving real soon!
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TIME/Mom has high speed AccuWeather, When she looks outside and she sees if the weather mop is wet or dry and she looks at the heat mirage, mom knows a lot more about meterologists like us than we might think.
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TRAINS/Did you know trains cause exercise fitness? When you live by the station, you can easily lose weight. When the Amtrack goes by, you stand around and shake for 3 hours!
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TRAVEL/These safety belts than automatically strap you in, this isn't so amazing. They already had this in the old days, when mom was all tied up in the finmobile, and the infants played Roy and Buck with mom.
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TELEVISION/One good thing about The Travel Channel, they're always moving to 20 more high res AM/FM stations.
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TELEPHONE/ When I pay Ma Bell with the IOU is when I rewind up most of my conversations for the month!
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TECHNOLOGY/What's good about starship cyber type radio? Subtitles are of a much higher elevation these days.
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UFO/If you look under the hood of a most out of this world dish it's not too suprising if it's... "57 flavors!"
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VAN GOUGH/Van Gough would have been a good solid gold musician. He just had one ear!
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WEATHER/Alaska is where they go to sleep and wake up, and wake up in the AM when they go to sleep, good sleeping, sounds like price saving alarms I've seen, you save more on a saving binge than on a buying binge..

There are just two things you can do when you're rich, spend or save, It's not so bad; actually you can always try combinations of the 200,000!

We can't leave weather on the coast when more is up. Research shows a cyclone is more attracted to the roughness of a city on the coast than the shore. But no one will mug a cyclone!

WEST/Out west is where if you ride a tractor at the speed limit with your mouth open you're living life in the faith lane!
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2004-08-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

COMICS HEADLINES AND MEMOS...

Why does "polymath" have one definition?
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People are buying fast food with RV's. No superhighways anymore, a zipcode with Exit and Yield signs when they zoom up to the Wal Mart!
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Roads are so clogged even 137 mph readers are saving on Breath Assure!
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There are no bank robbers in Alaska. How could they make a run for it in giant electric hot socks? What electric hot socks have ever been, hot?
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People are claiming chewing gum isn't safe because of additives, which is absoid. Chewing gum is safe. It's the compounds like phynlbisthourrallzeranine in gum that are safe!

What does a watch dog say? Not Woof Woof, Click Click!

It's so unsafe in our county even muggers are applying for loans!
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Three more incidents and they're gonna include milk in the price of a Bond, but then they already have!
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What's good about living in the country is, the stock market's always up!
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They have unlimited loans at the bank where the giant RN says, "lend me your arms!"
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They were going to give out fountain pens filled with cash flow but who could read their own handwriting if rich and asleep?
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They were giving out street maps printed on toenail polish in NY, for fashion goddesses who are more looked up than GPS!
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Debit cards may be alright. Any driver who pays a parking fine at 95 miles per hours is not tired and needs no arrest!
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What a rat race, You know, with stevia flavored booze substitute!
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New York is saving 10 million this year, even if overbudget. You can tell by the heat powered air conditioner.
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Who is Herb Hoover? He was the president with the trimmer mower!
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The best life is when your job is making MP3 rainhats for weather women who sing and dance "live" up on the roof.
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All these years listening to shag and top 40 and I finally know what B Y O B means. Bring Your Own Bizboom...
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I can't buy life insurance for my auto, The Insurance Company claims if we can pay we're in the royal family so we must be rich and on a luxury cruise, go out for a bite or through a stop sign, another yatcht and chalet saved up for!

What's good about a water bed? Your snoring is just bubbles so not loud!

Did you know GA is the largest state E of the Mississippi? When you count mops Ohahu has 20x the area of FL.

Einstein won the Nobel Price for the same physics that opens the door of the store when you walk through. He was so amazing thanks to him we all can walk through Wals!

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They're making a DVD about a convent in Ohio. Mothers in Akron never retire! They'll always be around!
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In the restuarant, the waitresses seem like, wild, fun loving, devil may care people. Or, as the boss likes to say, absolute cleanaholics!
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You see where they raise prices in some stores. A healthy life is a blessing.. If they raise prices for what we eat they should find ways to raise the savings of life saving teams too!
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I got a radiant heater instead of a fan heater. It doesn't work either but at least it's safer!
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The food is so bad in these local resturants, they have the only pot luck caudron in the kitchen of the diner with a stirring Macbeth witch standard option.
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How Einstein saved himself from drowning in his boat, He never used a lifesaver and he learned to swim around the cosmos and to starfish.

I've put on some water weight, don't know if it will be easy to lose via exercise. It's July here, I can go out for a swim in the heat at any rate!

..I read these commercials, do I like to exercise, China is reaching for the moon, in order to stay in shape for training for the launch, they do "chin"ups.

.I once had a woe in 1975, it was great! Thank goodness I was 17 and knew all there was to know about life!
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Just think if you were with Sarah Palin in MO, you'd be right where you live right now!
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It's good to be involved with a nonprofit. Noninvolvement is not an action adventure series.
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Unlike boredom, live action is not a rerun!
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Some miser had a way to save. He was watching his wife being robbed, but the robber was stopped when he told the robber the lottery's 900 number who couldn't wait to call to save on the rates!

I'm not real good in history, I read about The 800's and think, ya know, enough's enough!
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Nerds get know respect! And lots of attention from a marm at her .org!
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Laugh and the world lights up with you. Go on a diet and you find many ads for Pizza in suprising signs! And good exercise too. If 20 others are near you, you're one losing weight!

When they ask you how you slept and you say you don't know you were unconcious at the time, if you're dead it's a good solution to put a wind up time machine on the wall when the rising time is near!

It was so hot 8 months ago it will be hot in months, and the heat won't wear out!

It's lighter at 12 in the months of heat thanks to heat in the shade!

A woman in Sweden called the fire department the other day to report her TV was on fire. Actually it was a VHS of the fire being broadcast from the local TV station at two in the AM. A remote control is good to fight fires if you want to stay at 40 and have Christmas all month all year!

The room where my sister lives in the country is so high up, the elevator has a shock wave and has just one operation, UP!
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The road was being paved where I lived and I didn't put more trash in the box till after the sanitation crew could get to the box. I thought this was like a Good Samaritan. And who knows? This neighborhood is so rich the pavers may have more luxuriant trash than us!

Did you know they've had web soap operas 20 years? Research for Tommorrow, The Edge of Sites, As The world Tans in Radiant Auras of The Tube..

The lady who lives up the superhighway is so calm in about 257 ways, her dog never barks, she's just burpin' her baby!
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Have you heard about the smart pill for seniors? They're not famous but know they will be!
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I just realized why the women we know who deliver for Santa at Christmas and in August, are cute, real cute, and nothing but the cute. The glue on stamps, how much fat?

20 Packs a Day OF FIZZ LITE?

Divers and Sunday! When in a Vannapool to church!

.Soon with herbs like cotinine, a sort of nicotine that's non habit forming and without any side effects, no more smoking food or drink!

Weight loss will no longer be big business!

Cotinine may be used to stop smoking or for being thin, smoking causes too many to stop smoking now.
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Cotinine is all the letters of nicotine, spelled like in software code, like sideways in arabic steno!
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They're making a drink out of cotanine, and a smokeless tobbaco, for people not driven to smoke, or if they don't want to stop. This may make it true if all the C.E.O.s of the Soft Drink Companies swear under oath that they know caffeine is the most habit forming substance! Here's A list of cotanine IP.

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If here we have What Fi, What Do they have in Maui? Hawaii Fi..
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Bytes, on the web, always come in twos, "what web wampires weave".
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When the bride in Hollywood has already been married, the words of the ceremony are kinda unusual, like, "With all my worldy goods I do thee endow", and she hands her VISA To Saudi Arabia!
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The nicer part about wedding a sweet woman in a family of cobbler's, is you never have to ask what she'll be wearing, a wedding shoe and orlons!
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I was with a room of Unbelievers, I'm like Wow OMG! I started to be credulous, now I have much more faith in the web!

It's been said a barking dog does more good than a sleeping lion, a dog who talks like me types the most!
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Did you ever a real great month all year, and what happens? You open a fortune biscuit and it's a 10,000 IOU Visa from the S&L!
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What famous bread saves most on ocean power? Moonbeam bread!
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MY HOMETOWN
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If nobody knows the troubles you've seen, you don't live in my hometown Rural Retreat USA, where no one has any troubles!
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As you come into Rural Retreat they have this big sign that says, IF WE WERE ALIVE WE'D BE RICH RIGHT NOW!
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They say in FL is where prices have risen. Then there's Rural Retreat where all have risen!

Rural Retreat VA, population 1000 has about 100,000 million pages on the web, it's a comfort to realize I'm twice the size of RR in about 10 of my sites!

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I've just found the power of yoga ju jitsu. You don't just throw the attacker, you stretch away out on the other side of the room, plan shin...
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Did you realize pipe smokers are more healthy than even Olympic atheletes? Between drawing and puffing and lighting and cleaning and tamping and the ashes-they exercise more than anyone!
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Some of the women's swimwear you see at the beach may seem good for eyesight, it's, a utopia for myopia!

HEADLINES

"Sarah Palin-Hot-Sweet" got more research on the web than any other politician in the last 3 years. If she has a mormon type wedding with her fans, the wedding may be in Juno, in June!
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If there are 3.73 persons in all households how would the .73 person buy a SUV?
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The safest way of travel is the elevator, and the second safest is the airplane. How would you sail to Hawaii in a box with wings!
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Most animals have a two chambered heart but birds and mammals hearts have four chambers, four chambers allow two speeds, slow to relax, power aerobic for heavy action. Both are sweeter with sweets and flowers!

QUOTES

. It's been said that "some questions don't have answers, which can be a lesson to learn." NOT IF You Wonder Before You're a WHEEL Winner!
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"You may get skinned knees and elbows, but it's worth it if you score a spectacular goal." So in other word's Life may be bad but it's good! Seems plausable enough.
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"If you go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet." Sounds like Me! I FEEL SO GOOD THIS MONTH I WANNA BE BORN TO RUN FOR THE OFFICE OF BOSS!
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John D. Rockefeller had trouble tipping, had he paid too little or too much? Finally he just held out an open had of coins and let the server take howso much. But in the mid 20th century this much was worth a yatcht and 3 0r more Castles in Briand!
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In 1948 the bikini made it's debut in an outdoor fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. IT WAS A DEBUT OF WOMEN MORE THAN CLOTH.
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If collectors are willing to pay say $800 for a piece of a famous person's hair some have wondered what collectors would pay for Monica Lewinsky's notorious blue dress? Right, A CHEAPER PRICE!
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My memo RFD lady has dents on the door of her car she drives where she's opened and closed it so many times. THIS IS BECAUSE SHE'S AN ACTION ADVENTURE RFD MEMO LADY;

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She has a yellow light (most are light yellow!) on the top of her sub van she drives on the weekends, in the rain she drives her Yellow Submarine and sings a Beatles song for the 80's!
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The brats have their own toy store, Toys or Else!

They don't labor, they just celebrate all month!

Have you heard about out west, the psychic hotline now offers only board certified psychics, I would be great with math teachers!

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