COMICS A2Z



I think Upppp Airways would most be improved by a high level meeting of AHHH Unanamous!
...
AHHH!/ I've found great relief with pleasure, I live near this woman who exercises with cheeze, she chewses to be fit!

AUTO/Wheels have a lot of EMF. Some people go in the auto shop and it's a shock, when they see the prices.
..
I said, "Why rotate wheels? Just raise the world!"

.. AIR TRAVEL/Why we sympathise with airline hostesses. Their job is often at high pressure, and with long hours AM and PM, often in that order.
..
ALASKA Sarah Palin has a great idea to save money; A giant portable heat box to heat Alaska! Or, just air condition Mexico, who has more Christmas! . AGRICULTURE It's a cheap crop with reduced subsidys this year.. Personally I believe we must take action right away, like cashing out on that 47th rerun of Millionaire each time.

BEAUTY Women are with hair color like red and yellow, and if you see a lot of beauticians up in the branches in autumn you'll know why!
..
I saw a woman at party last month who's sweet, well actually she's so cozy, the roof melted! .

. BRILLIANCE I heard about this teen who was so amazing she was able to say the day of the year like in 1472, June the 12th was Monday, or March 35th 1627 was a Saturday. And I read she was on the beach and almost drowned in 1979. I say almost because the CPR team were so smart they saved her by way of her brilliance with this skill. You may wonder how her skill at knowing what day in 1908 saved her, simple, she told them, "Math to month resucitation!" ..
.
. BLIND DATE/"How was your blind date?" When they asked her to speak and she said, "I'm watching what I eat, Yum Yum!"
.. ..
BLONDES
..
Q: How do blonde braincells scream? A:YELLOW REAL GOLDEN.
..
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: HYDROG KNOW PEROXIDE
..
Q: How do you learn a blonde's intelligence? A: Ask her her name and number.
..
Q: How does a blonde stop conversational distractions? A: She starts to play the violin while she stops!
..
Q: If you see a blond going to London on a plane through all the radiance, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Ask to sit with her on a cloud.
..
I wrote a book for blondes and this is no problem because with some blondes I know she can read without a heat lamp!! .. BOOZE/What's great when they install a computer sofa with a broadband cushion in internet cafes? You wouldn't fall off the edge in 1,000 web seconds!
..
 CATS AND DOGS make us feel like super heroes, they walk through walls 3 times a day with sound, so my brain lifts for life!
.
. CRIME/We Live in a town so small, the robbers ask if you have money and if not they lend a VISA!
..
CHRISTMAS/If you have a plugged in Xmas, your trimmer mower throws the lights and icicles and ornaments and star on the branches, and first it trims it.
..
 They now have a Hallmark Sounds Good Card that is guaranteed to be amazing, it's the story of ROM and URL ette, the song is worth 25,000 in platinum chips saved from 25 years ago in the stone age when ROM was throwing stones and chips to URLettes window, updated for the 29.95 s.
..
To make your Christmas economic, why not sell or rent your old resolutions? If you got good use of them others may also rent them to own..
..
COLLEGE/ What's the most important inspirational motivation for college seniors the finals? Exercises with the sweet marm.
..
Cleaning/Why should a machine sweep my floor? With all the sofas on mine, labor is more saving!
.
 DIET/I've been dieting, and I'm real fit, Real Fit. I was doing my marathon exercises the other day and fell. Landed on the higher floor.



Plant food seems to not be a trend, it's here to stay. Why? If you're a gardener, you already have lots!


 ELECTRONICS/You know you have a cheap CD player, if the laser beam is a cheeze warehouse bizboom!


Even so this is grate if all your songs you like are sharp or round!
..
  EXERCISE/There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She must have liked to jog a lot for fitness, if her room was a Triple Wide! .

. FITNESS/The health trend was so wild in the 90's sumo wrestlers were taking up Golden Gloves to stay overweight after having trouble opening chips boxes. ..
 
 GARDENING/I've found how to cash in on the health and fitness boom, a diet where eating so much munchies for exercise they stay fit by weeding.
.
 HEALTH/ I saw this ad "New Invention Allows you to Stay Young Forever!! GUARANTEE works or your money back." But if you pay the 19.95? Is it yours to save for a million years?
...
  My father was always concientious about Halloween. If there was an alarm at the haunted house, he would yell, "A high level meeting of the AAA!"
....
HOUSE/Have you heard of the rug doctor, when you arrive at the ER, the RN is all hot and fuzzy!
.

HOUSE/I see this business PR where they say you can add metal roofing over your existing roof. It works well even for thatched roofs but you have to wait till 227 BC in the rain for the biz to arrive for some ye old roofs!
...
 JOKES /Thanks to VHS, old jokes never die, they just rest and then ascend unceremoniously to cartoon heavan!
..
KIDS/Kid to father, "Even if candy spoils my dinner, it's good to know exercise is good for Victoria Principal and me!"

 LIFE/"Don't look back" so they say. If you do a mysterious transformation may make your wife turn into a road map!
..
 Welcome wagon when you move in the neighborhood, you hope they bring a few installments. No floss, just inlaws !


MATH, The order to operate in algebra is MDSA, Multiply, Divide, Add Subtract, My Dear Aunt Sally. What's good about Aunt Sally is her weather maps are 50/75 with rain on one side and blessed light on the other! She's so strong she doesn't flip a coin, she flips GPS and the Old World!
..
 Motels/What's a healthy cleaning woman? One who has mania klepto and saves lots of towels from the occupants to the biz.
.
 MOTORCYCLES/What's good about motorcycles? You save on wheel alignment!
..
 A motorcycle is like ah, youth when the boss arrives on his 10,000 Yamaha acting like a infant!
 MONEY/What's it like to be rich? I've read it's where you live in a house in Beverly Hills, start the washing machine, and the swimming pool spins around!
...
 MONEY/Life is funny, you take out 100,000 worth of fire insurance, and when your Christmas Lights on the roof you never took down to save power light up in August anyway!
....
 MUSIC/Can you imagine, if Elvis were alive today, looking up and saying to the secretary, Write this down PeggySue, "Awh Ahuh Uh!"
..
 Some have music in their veins and are willing to play for glory, but even so they're willing to accept an IV of platinum cash for a sold out recording contract..

 There's a rumor, so far unconfirmed. There will be a Beatles Reunion this year, live!

 They say Bach or Beethoven musicians aren't paid a lot but anyone who's strong enough to pack up a concert grand after each show with the Boston Harmonic, must be in good with lots of moving biz!

 It's easy to play an instrument by ear with both ears if one ear plucks and the other modulates!

Mozart died young. He just lived to be 35. At any rate it seemed like he was 28 most of his life...

NEIGHBORS/How to know if they're loud. If the owner of the nearby train asks them to not yell while they're in the station!
.
OPTIMIST/What's a optimists hopeful weather report in August? Snow in the form of rain and heat in March, and March.
.
OUTDOORS/High Resolution is like bringing the outdoors right in your living room, and the stars like Vanna reach RV niRVana!
.
 OHIO/Did you know Ohio is upside down? The underwater motel off the beach is the land down yuppers!
.
. PIZZA/What value! What wealth in pizza bread! At the local take out pizza biz they use a simple form you fill out or in, "What will be your total worth last month after expenses?" .. PERSONALITIES
..
S; Do you know who I am?
C; Was "Rich" A trick question when you were seen last on The Price is Right?
.

. PERSONALITIES/Deep down in her perm jug I realized she was a real sort of cosmotologist when she pulled a flood light out of her purse to lighten up her mirror!
..
  REAL ESTATE/The contractor says we would be alright with 7/8 of a bathroom, even so the bowl sink and tub are like ancient greek geometry, hyperbowls with Ode to An Ancient Ur!
....
  RELIGION/Many women have agreed with me about religion, like Sue a lady I know she believes in VISA once a month, and she's in the Heavenly Housecleaning Biz 24/7!
..
  RESORTS/You always know when you're in a rich resort, the row boat wiith an exercise machine, a chandilier and a sauna!

. SUMMER/Droughts in summer are good for the economy. If it's a rainy day in the months saved up, April isn't a giant swimming pool.
..
. SLEEP/A sofa cushion good for sleep, and snuffle and driving pigs to market. The feline won't fall asleep on an empty stomach!

  Felines are good for sleep when they whiff you. Purrfumes!

. SECRETARY/This secretary asked me TM, if I liked my memos double spaced or more. I said more, by the way what does TM have to do with memos? So she went out and bought two machines, Zen she had 4 and 8.. and Zen she had 20.....!
..
 SAFETY/It's better to be safe. If you're in the hospital because of a injury, don't open any memo that says, GET WELL TOO SOON with a return stamp from The ER Unit of the County Medical Center.
.
.Soft Drinks/There are so many chemicals in soft drinks when you buy a pack at the Gomart you often take the Pepsi Challenge and end up in zoom with the stars and remember Halleys, the national anthem, and the stars in shboom shboom swirls of fizz!
..
  SPACE EXPLORATION/What would be good about the lawn when living on the moon in 2057? The lawn is always trimmed with Christmas alumium!

 SPORTS/Did you hear about that thief who unwisely tried to rob a Ju Jit Su Training Biz the other day? Even the CashBox Machine knew the moves, the thief wasn't leaving real fast.
. TIME/Mom has high speed AccuWeather, When she looks outside and she sees if the weather mop is wet or dry and she looks at the heat mirage, mom knows a lot more about meterologists like us than we might think. ..
 TRAINS/Did you know trains cause exercise fitness? When you live by the station, you can easily lose weight. When the Amtrack goes by, you stand around and shake for 3 hours!
...
  TRAVEL/These safety belts than automatically strap you in, this isn't so amazing. They already had this in the old days, when father was all tied up in the finmobile, and the infants played Roy and Buck with mom.

. TELEVISION/One good thing about The Travel Channel, they're always moving to 20 more high res AM/FM stations.
..
. TELEPHONE/ When I pay Ma Bell with the IOU is when I rewind up most of my conversations for the month!
....
  TECHNOLOGY/What's good about starship cyber type radio? Subtitles are of a much higher elevation these days.
...
  UFO/If you look under the hood of a most out of this world dish it's not too suprising if it's... "57 flavors!" ..

 VAN GOUGH/Van Gough would have been a good solid gold musician. He just had one ear!
...
 WEATHER/Alaska is where they go to sleep and wake up, and wake up in the AM when they go to sleep, good sleeping, sounds like price saving alarms I've seen, you save more on a saving binge than on a buying binge..

 There are just two things you can do when you're rich, spend or save, It's not so bad; actually you can always try combinations of the 200,000!

 WEST/Out west is where if you ride a tractor at the speed limit with your mouth open to say cheeze you're living life in the faith lane!
.