COMICS A2Z



I think Upppp Airways would most be improved by a high level meeting of AHHH Unanamous!
...
AHHH!/ I've found great relief with pleasure, I live near this woman who exercises with cheeze, she chewses to be fit!

AUTO/Wheels have a lot of EMF. Some people go in the auto shop and it's a shock, when they see the prices.
..
I said, "Why rotate wheels? Just raise the world!"

.. AIR TRAVEL/Why we sympathise with airline hostesses. Their job is often at high pressure, and with long hours AM and PM, often in that order.
..
ALASKA Sarah Palin has a great idea to save money; A giant portable heat box to heat Alaska! Or, just air condition Mexico, who has more Christmas! . AGRICULTURE It's a cheap crop with reduced subsidys this year.. Personally I believe we must take action right away, like cashing out on that 47th rerun of Millionaire each time.

BEAUTY Women are with hair color like red and yellow, and if you see a lot of beauticians up in the branches in autumn you'll know why!
..
I saw a woman at party last month who's sweet, well actually she's so cozy, the roof melted! .

. BRILLIANCE I heard about this teen who was so amazing she was able to say the day of the year like in 1472, June the 12th was Monday, or March 35th 1627 was a Saturday. And I read she was on the beach and almost drowned in 1979. I say almost because the CPR team were so smart they saved her by way of her brilliance with this skill. You may wonder how her skill at knowing what day in 1908 saved her, simple, she told them, "Math to month resucitation!" ..
.
. BLIND DATE/"How was your blind date?" When they asked her to speak and she said, "I'm watching what I eat, Yum Yum!"
.. ..
BLONDES
..
Q: How do blonde braincells scream? A:YELLOW REAL GOLDEN.
..
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: HYDROG KNOW PEROXIDE
..
Q: How do you learn a blonde's intelligence? A: Ask her her name and number.
..
Q: How does a blonde stop conversational distractions? A: She starts to play the violin while she stops!
..
Q: If you see a blond going to London on a plane through all the radiance, how can you steal her window seat?

A: Ask to sit with her on a cloud.
..
I wrote a book for blondes and this is no problem because with some blondes I know she can read without a heat lamp!! .. BOOZE/What's great when they install a computer sofa with a broadband cushion in internet cafes? You wouldn't fall off the edge in 1,000 web seconds!
..
 CATS AND DOGS make us feel like super heroes, they walk through walls 3 times a day with sound, so my brain lifts for life!
.
. CRIME/We Live in a town so small, the robbers ask if you have money and if not they lend a VISA!
..
CHRISTMAS/If you have a plugged in Xmas, your trimmer mower throws the lights and icicles and ornaments and star on the branches, and first it trims it.
..
 They now have a Hallmark Sounds Good Card that is guaranteed to be amazing, it's the story of ROM and URL ette, the song is worth 25,000 in platinum chips saved from 25 years ago in the stone age when ROM was throwing stones and chips to URLettes window, updated for the 29.95 s.
..
To make your Christmas economic, why not sell or rent your old resolutions? If you got good use of them others may also rent them to own..
..
COLLEGE/ What's the most important inspirational motivation for college seniors the finals? Exercises with the sweet marm.
..
Cleaning/Why should a machine sweep my floor? With all the sofas on mine, labor is more saving!
.
 DIET/I've been dieting, and I'm real fit, Real Fit. I was doing my marathon exercises the other day and fell. Landed on the higher floor.



Plant food seems to not be a trend, it's here to stay. Why? If you're a gardener, you already have lots!


 ELECTRONICS/You know you have a cheap CD player, if the laser beam is a cheeze warehouse bizboom!


Even so this is grate if all your songs you like are sharp or round!
..
  EXERCISE/There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She must have liked to jog a lot for fitness, if her room was a Triple Wide! .

. FITNESS/The health trend was so wild in the 90's sumo wrestlers were taking up Golden Gloves to stay overweight after having trouble opening chips boxes. ..
 
 GARDENING/I've found how to cash in on the health and fitness boom, a diet where eating so much munchies for exercise they stay fit by weeding.
.
 HEALTH/ I saw this ad "New Invention Allows you to Stay Young Forever!! GUARANTEE works or your money back." But if you pay the 19.95? Is it yours to save for a million years?
...
  My father was always concientious about Halloween. If there was an alarm at the haunted house, he would yell, "A high level meeting of the AAA!"
....
HOUSE/Have you heard of the rug doctor, when you arrive at the ER, the RN is all hot and fuzzy!
.

HOUSE/I see this business PR where they say you can add metal roofing over your existing roof. It works well even for thatched roofs but you have to wait till 227 BC in the rain for the biz to arrive for some ye old roofs!
...
 JOKES /Thanks to VHS, old jokes never die, they just rest and then ascend unceremoniously to cartoon heavan!
..
KIDS/Kid to father, "Even if candy spoils my dinner, it's good to know exercise is good for Victoria Principal and me!"

 LIFE/"Don't look back" so they say. If you do a mysterious transformation may make your wife turn into a road map!
..
 Welcome wagon when you move in the neighborhood, you hope they bring a few installments. No floss, just inlaws !


MATH, The order to operate in algebra is MDSA, Multiply, Divide, Add Subtract, My Dear Aunt Sally. What's good about Aunt Sally is her weather maps are 50/75 with rain on one side and blessed light on the other! She's so strong she doesn't flip a coin, she flips GPS and the Old World!
..
 Motels/What's a healthy cleaning woman? One who has mania klepto and saves lots of towels from the occupants to the biz.
.
 MOTORCYCLES/What's good about motorcycles? You save on wheel alignment!
..
 A motorcycle is like ah, youth when the boss arrives on his 10,000 Yamaha acting like a infant!
 MONEY/What's it like to be rich? I've read it's where you live in a house in Beverly Hills, start the washing machine, and the swimming pool spins around!
...
 MONEY/Life is funny, you take out 100,000 worth of fire insurance, and when your Christmas Lights on the roof you never took down to save power light up in August anyway!
....
 MUSIC/Can you imagine, if Elvis were alive today, looking up and saying to the secretary, Write this down PeggySue, "Awh Ahuh Uh!"
..
 Some have music in their veins and are willing to play for glory, but even so they're willing to accept an IV of platinum cash for a sold out recording contract..

 There's a rumor, so far unconfirmed. There will be a Beatles Reunion this year, live!

 They say Bach or Beethoven musicians aren't paid a lot but anyone who's strong enough to pack up a concert grand after each show with the Boston Harmonic, must be in good with lots of moving biz!

 It's easy to play an instrument by ear with both ears if one ear plucks and the other modulates!

Mozart died young. He just lived to be 35. At any rate it seemed like he was 28 most of his life...

NEIGHBORS/How to know if they're loud. If the owner of the nearby train asks them to not yell while they're in the station!
.
OPTIMIST/What's a optimists hopeful weather report in August? Snow in the form of rain and heat in March, and March.
.
OUTDOORS/High Resolution is like bringing the outdoors right in your living room, and the stars like Vanna reach RV niRVana!
.
 OHIO/Did you know Ohio is upside down? The underwater motel off the beach is the land down yuppers!
.
. PIZZA/What value! What wealth in pizza bread! At the local take out pizza biz they use a simple form you fill out or in, "What will be your total worth last month after expenses?" .. PERSONALITIES
..
S; Do you know who I am?
C; Was "Rich" A trick question when you were seen last on The Price is Right?
.

. PERSONALITIES/Deep down in her perm jug I realized she was a real sort of cosmotologist when she pulled a flood light out of her purse to lighten up her mirror!
..
  REAL ESTATE/The contractor says we would be alright with 7/8 of a bathroom, even so the bowl sink and tub are like ancient greek geometry, hyperbowls with Ode to An Ancient Ur!
....
  RELIGION/Many women have agreed with me about religion, like Sue a lady I know she believes in VISA once a month, and she's in the Heavenly Housecleaning Biz 24/7!
..
  RESORTS/You always know when you're in a rich resort, the row boat wiith an exercise machine, a chandilier and a sauna!

. SUMMER/Droughts in summer are good for the economy. If it's a rainy day in the months saved up, April isn't a giant swimming pool.
..
. SLEEP/A sofa cushion good for sleep, and snuffle and driving pigs to market. The feline won't fall asleep on an empty stomach!

  Felines are good for sleep when they whiff you. Purrfumes!

. SECRETARY/This secretary asked me TM, if I liked my memos double spaced or more. I said more, by the way what does TM have to do with memos? So she went out and bought two machines, Zen she had 4 and 8.. and Zen she had 20.....!
..
 SAFETY/It's better to be safe. If you're in the hospital because of a injury, don't open any memo that says, GET WELL TOO SOON with a return stamp from The ER Unit of the County Medical Center.
.
.Soft Drinks/There are so many chemicals in soft drinks when you buy a pack at the Gomart you often take the Pepsi Challenge and end up in zoom with the stars and remember Halleys, the national anthem, and the stars in shboom shboom swirls of fizz!
..
  SPACE EXPLORATION/What would be good about the lawn when living on the moon in 2057? The lawn is always trimmed with Christmas alumium!

 SPORTS/Did you hear about that thief who unwisely tried to rob a Ju Jit Su Training Biz the other day? Even the CashBox Machine knew the moves, the thief wasn't leaving real fast.
. TIME/Mom has high speed AccuWeather, When she looks outside and she sees if the weather mop is wet or dry and she looks at the heat mirage, mom knows a lot more about meterologists like us than we might think. ..
 TRAINS/Did you know trains cause exercise fitness? When you live by the station, you can easily lose weight. When the Amtrack goes by, you stand around and shake for 3 hours!
...
  TRAVEL/These safety belts than automatically strap you in, this isn't so amazing. They already had this in the old days, when father was all tied up in the finmobile, and the infants played Roy and Buck with mom.

. TELEVISION/One good thing about The Travel Channel, they're always moving to 20 more high res AM/FM stations.
..
. TELEPHONE/ When I pay Ma Bell with the IOU is when I rewind up most of my conversations for the month!
....
  TECHNOLOGY/What's good about starship cyber type radio? Subtitles are of a much higher elevation these days.
...
  UFO/If you look under the hood of a most out of this world dish it's not too suprising if it's... "57 flavors!" ..

 VAN GOUGH/Van Gough would have been a good solid gold musician. He just had one ear!
...
 WEATHER/Alaska is where they go to sleep and wake up, and wake up in the AM when they go to sleep, good sleeping, sounds like price saving alarms I've seen, you save more on a saving binge than on a buying binge..

 There are just two things you can do when you're rich, spend or save, It's not so bad; actually you can always try combinations of the 200,000!

 WEST/Out west is where if you ride a tractor at the speed limit with your mouth open to say cheeze you're living life in the faith lane!
.

COMICS HEADLINES AND MEMOS...

Why does "polymath" have one definition?
..
People are buying fast food with RV's. No superhighways anymore, a zipcode with Exit and Yield signs when they zoom up to the Wal Mart!
.
Roads are so clogged even 137 mph readers are saving on Breath Assure!
..
There are no bank robbers in Alaska. How could they make a run for it in giant electric hot socks? What electric hot socks have ever been, hot?
..
People are claiming chewing gum isn't safe because of additives, which is absoid. Chewing gum is safe. It's the compounds like phynlbisthourrallzeranine in gum that are safe!

What does a watch dog say? Not Woof Woof, Click Click!

It's so unsafe in our county even muggers are applying for loans!
..
Three more incidents and they're gonna include milk in the price of a Bond, but then they already have!
..
What's good about living in the country is, the stock market's always up!
..
They have unlimited loans at the bank where the giant RN says, "lend me your arms!"
..
They were going to give out fountain pens filled with cash flow but who could read their own handwriting if rich and asleep?
..
They were giving out street maps printed on toenail polish in NY, for fashion goddesses who are more looked up than GPS!
..
Debit cards may be alright. Any driver who pays a parking fine at 95 miles per hours is not tired and needs no arrest!
..
What a rat race, You know, with stevia flavored booze substitute!
..
New York is saving 10 million this year, even if overbudget. You can tell by the heat powered air conditioner.
..
Who is Herb Hoover? He was the president with the trimmer mower!
..
The best life is when your job is making MP3 rainhats for weather women who sing and dance "live" up on the roof.
..
All these years listening to shag and top 40 and I finally know what B Y O B means. Bring Your Own Bizboom...
..
I can't buy life insurance for my auto, The Insurance Company claims if we can pay we're in the royal family so we must be rich and on a luxury cruise, go out for a bite or through a stop sign, another yatcht and chalet saved up for!

What's good about a water bed? Your snoring is just bubbles so not loud!

Did you know GA is the largest state E of the Mississippi? When you count mops Ohahu has 20x the area of FL.

Einstein won the Nobel Price for the same physics that opens the door of the store when you walk through. He was so amazing thanks to him we all can walk through Wals!

..
They're making a DVD about a convent in Ohio. Mothers in Akron never retire! They'll always be around!
..
In the restuarant, the waitresses seem like, wild, fun loving, devil may care people. Or, as the boss likes to say, absolute cleanaholics!
..
You see where they raise prices in some stores. A healthy life is a blessing.. If they raise prices for what we eat they should find ways to raise the savings of life saving teams too!
..
I got a radiant heater instead of a fan heater. It doesn't work either but at least it's safer!
..
The food is so bad in these local resturants, they have the only pot luck caudron in the kitchen of the diner with a stirring Macbeth witch standard option.
..
How Einstein saved himself from drowning in his boat, He never used a lifesaver and he learned to swim around the cosmos and to starfish.

I've put on some water weight, don't know if it will be easy to lose via exercise. It's July here, I can go out for a swim in the heat at any rate!

..I read these commercials, do I like to exercise, China is reaching for the moon, in order to stay in shape for training for the launch, they do "chin"ups.

.I once had a woe in 1975, it was great! Thank goodness I was 17 and knew all there was to know about life!
..
Just think if you were with Sarah Palin in MO, you'd be right where you live right now!
..
It's good to be involved with a nonprofit. Noninvolvement is not an action adventure series.
..
Unlike boredom, live action is not a rerun!
..
Some miser had a way to save. He was watching his wife being robbed, but the robber was stopped when he told the robber the lottery's 900 number who couldn't wait to call to save on the rates!

I'm not real good in history, I read about The 800's and think, ya know, enough's enough!
..
Nerds get know respect! And lots of attention from a marm at her .org!
..
Laugh and the world lights up with you. Go on a diet and you find many ads for Pizza in suprising signs! And good exercise too. If 20 others are near you, you're one losing weight!

When they ask you how you slept and you say you don't know you were unconcious at the time, if you're dead it's a good solution to put a wind up time machine on the wall when the rising time is near!

It was so hot 8 months ago it will be hot in months, and the heat won't wear out!

It's lighter at 12 in the months of heat thanks to heat in the shade!

A woman in Sweden called the fire department the other day to report her TV was on fire. Actually it was a VHS of the fire being broadcast from the local TV station at two in the AM. A remote control is good to fight fires if you want to stay at 40 and have Christmas all month all year!

The room where my sister lives in the country is so high up, the elevator has a shock wave and has just one operation, UP!
..
The road was being paved where I lived and I didn't put more trash in the box till after the sanitation crew could get to the box. I thought this was like a Good Samaritan. And who knows? This neighborhood is so rich the pavers may have more luxuriant trash than us!

Did you know they've had web soap operas 20 years? Research for Tommorrow, The Edge of Sites, As The world Tans in Radiant Auras of The Tube..

The lady who lives up the superhighway is so calm in about 257 ways, her dog never barks, she's just burpin' her baby!
..
Have you heard about the smart pill for seniors? They're not famous but know they will be!
..
I just realized why the women we know who deliver for Santa at Christmas and in August, are cute, real cute, and nothing but the cute. The glue on stamps, how much fat?

..

20 Packs a Day OF FIZZ LITE?

Divers and Sunday! When in a Vannapool to church!

.Soon with herbs like cotinine, a sort of nicotine that's non habit forming and without any side effects, no more smoking food or drink!

Weight loss will no longer be big business!

Cotinine may be used to stop smoking or for being thin, smoking causes too many to stop smoking now.
..
Cotinine is all the letters of nicotine, spelled like in software code, like sideways in arabic steno!
..
They're making a drink out of cotanine, and a smokeless tobbaco, for people not driven to smoke, or if they don't want to stop. This may make it true if all the C.E.O.s of the Soft Drink Companies swear under oath that they know caffeine is the most habit forming substance! Here's A list of cotanine IP.

..
If here we have What Fi, What Do they have in Maui? Hawaii Fi..
..
Bytes, on the web, always come in twos, "what web wampires weave".
..
.
When the bride in Hollywood has already been married, the words of the ceremony are kinda unusual, like, "With all my worldy goods I do thee endow", and she hands her VISA To Saudi Arabia!
..
The nicer part about wedding a sweet woman in a family of cobbler's, is you never have to ask what she'll be wearing, a wedding shoe and orlons!
..
I was with a room of Unbelievers, I'm like Wow OMG! I started to be credulous, now I have much more faith in the web!

It's been said a barking dog does more good than a sleeping lion, a dog who talks like me types the most!
..
Did you ever a real great month all year, and what happens? You open a fortune biscuit and it's a 10,000 IOU Visa from the S&L!
..
....
What famous bread saves most on ocean power? Moonbeam bread!
..
.

MY HOMETOWN
..
If nobody knows the troubles you've seen, you don't live in my hometown Rural Retreat USA, where no one has any troubles!
..
As you come into Rural Retreat they have this big sign that says, IF WE WERE ALIVE WE'D BE RICH RIGHT NOW!
..
They say in FL is where prices have risen. Then there's Rural Retreat where all have risen!

Rural Retreat VA, population 1000 has about 100,000 million pages on the web, it's a comfort to realize I'm twice the size of RR in about 10 of my sites!

..
I've just found the power of yoga ju jitsu. You don't just throw the attacker, you stretch away out on the other side of the room, plan shin...
.
Did you realize pipe smokers are more healthy than even Olympic atheletes? Between drawing and puffing and lighting and cleaning and tamping and the ashes-they exercise more than anyone!
..

Some of the women's swimwear you see at the beach may seem good for eyesight, it's, a utopia for myopia!

..

HEADLINES

"Sarah Palin-Hot-Sweet" got more research on the web than any other politician in the last 3 years. If she has a mormon type wedding with her fans, the wedding may be in Juno, in June!
..
If there are 3.73 persons in all households how would the .73 person buy a SUV?
..
The safest way of travel is the elevator, and the second safest is the airplane. How would you sail to Hawaii in a box with wings!
..
.
Most animals have a two chambered heart but birds and mammals hearts have four chambers, four chambers allow two speeds, slow to relax, power aerobic for heavy action. Both are sweeter with sweets and flowers!

..

QUOTES

. It's been said that "some questions don't have answers, which can be a lesson to learn." NOT IF You Wonder Before You're a WHEEL Winner!
..
"You may get skinned knees and elbows, but it's worth it if you score a spectacular goal." So in other word's Life may be bad but it's good! Seems plausable enough.
..
"If you go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet." Sounds like Me! I FEEL SO GOOD THIS MONTH I WANNA BE BORN TO RUN FOR THE OFFICE OF BOSS!
..

John D. Rockefeller had trouble tipping, had he paid too little or too much? Finally he just held out an open had of coins and let the server take howso much. But in the mid 20th century this much was worth a yatcht and 3 0r more Castles in Briand!
..
In 1948 the bikini made it's debut in an outdoor fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. IT WAS A DEBUT OF WOMEN MORE THAN CLOTH.
..
..
If collectors are willing to pay say $800 for a piece of a famous person's hair some have wondered what collectors would pay for Monica Lewinsky's notorious blue dress? Right, A CHEAPER PRICE!
..
My memo RFD lady has dents on the door of her car she drives where she's opened and closed it so many times. THIS IS BECAUSE SHE'S AN ACTION ADVENTURE RFD MEMO LADY;

..
She has a yellow light (most are light yellow!) on the top of her sub van she drives on the weekends, in the rain she drives her Yellow Submarine and sings a Beatles song for the 80's!
..

The brats have their own toy store, Toys or Else!

They don't labor, they just celebrate all month!

Have you heard about out west, the psychic hotline now offers only board certified psychics, I would be great with math teachers!

...