Music
As you may find from the following, I'm not a fan of old music (except before like 1750) but old wild celebrations are alright!
If you collect a lot of old rare songs by reading about the sound,
They'll know you're a real musician when you even put their audio memos up to the Post Office Box to hear!
If you breathe music, you sleep music, and eat music, to you, after silence, music comes closest to a visual whiff n poof.
*******
Music is the only cheap thrill in life without a vice squad and a raid, if the wife sez so.
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Signs The Concert You're Attending is The Real Wave Radio
It's hosted by Mamma IV and the Hug Station.
"Amplifiers" are just big flower urns. Most songs contain a plug for Ear Attenuation.
You're asked to put on a hat and sunglasses and the next thing you know, you're being introduced as The Boss.
Hoss sitting next to you brought a zoom and has already seen 20 orbits of the Halos comets.
They're playing "Turn Up Shag, Not Music, The Rug, The Rug! Maria".
You spot Mariah stage-diving, and the crowd is chanting, "Moussse! Moussse! Mousse!"
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Glossary of Music
Adagio: When you put lo salt herbs on a music site.
Accidentals: Notes you got smashing up your Yugo while playing the marimba tune at 200 mph.
Ad Librium: When your wife eats all the 80's Volumes of Madonna in the shush room, and you want more extemporaneus sounds.
Allegro: When you play runs on the violin with itty bitty boots on your hands.
Altered Chord: When you offer the Yamaha line of Ovations to the power station as an offering to the world to come.
Atonality: When they would know the words but not the sound in 1905, and will in BC 1000.
Augmented fifth: A Band of Jug Booze to go.
.......
Breve: Army Navy Air Force; The National Anthem sung in the rain before you go for a sail in your cushion in a boom in the arena.
Cadenza: When they all jump up in the air in opera, sort of a wave in the arena, except with no music most of the time.
Clausula: When Santa sees the women in swimwear slide past in the wave machine, and he when sees the Mrs.
Compound Meter: A rondezvous where a follower and the beautious lady unify for exersis-sing.
Counterpoint: Highest note ever heard by those above the contenental shelf in a submarine. Still taught in many colleges, a sleep learning science.
Countertenor: An over the shelf hash pitcher who always sings in R Round.
Da Capo al Fine: When she applauds his real shag rug during the show.
Detache: When musicians yell so loud their orthodontist and opthamologist saves.
Discord: Music played by wife so you know she likes you because of just how she bangs pots and pans, derived from the original greek, "dishchord" a washing machine.
Estampie: A pizza hut memo they put on ads to AZ.
Fermata: A brand of cheeze made especially for opera singers, a lot like Dolby or Colby but with lots of shouts.
Gregorian chant: A way of singing in unison, invented by monks to save Ma Bell on the rates.
Harmonic Minor: An infant who is way out of tune no matter if he isn't.
Harmony: Cash paid for comics.
Heroic Tenor: When your teen burps a song without a bread machine.
Interval: Distance between sounds, where you know neither but someone somewhere realizes realize about the speed of light and the Mandelbrot Set.
Isorhythm: One memo to the stars, "What's wrong with my Lexus"?
Isorhythmic motet: A jug band in one ear and Bose in the other.
Lasso: "Rare" song "unherd" outside the west
Mean-Tone Temperament: When the music is so bad you hope for silence is the golden rule, solved by AN, not Anti Noise, "Noel Already!"
Messiah: An oratorio by Handel performed at Christmas by orators who have rehearsed, and many who have stopped rehearsing.
Motet: When the kid you hired clipped the lawn out of tune with weed tweezers.
Musica ficta: A music of faith, when the landlord generously allows too much from others but sends up heat religiously, or once a month at Memorial Day.
Neums: A way to remember names of songs on the radio without no goofs, see you remember me already!
Orchestral Suites: What makes opera go on till the sings lady fat.
Pause: When paid to rest for hours in 4/4 time if real bad on the drums, but then who can be on the drums if in jail for dipping a blendor in the ocean?
Prolation: When you make it to the NCAA, and you know what the weather is like at the top-A Major will win.
Recitative: Rap Music
Sine proprietate: When the song you wrote about The Price is Rich now owns your Yugo.
Tempo: Anywhere in a song you are and how to get there by 4/3 of physics.
Tempus imperfectum: Atomic Watch without a built in fatbust machine.
Tempus perfectum: Einstein's atomic wrist watch with built in timer, train station, and the starship suprise.
Trill: What it feels like being near the high wire goddess when you're in the circus.
Trope: What your wife the high wire goddess will never do over a 900 Mhz wire!
Trotto: A horse who yells faster than marathons out west.
Vibrato; Shaking of the church walls and roof when the doctor is called out during worship by the nurse..
