ELEVATOR JOKES
What does an elevator and an MP3 have in common? The elevator has a song when you push the the button of the machine!
Why do anjels like escalators? More exercise than an elevator to heaven, and they can count all their advantages while they rise weigh up!
What's an elevator airbag? A safe invention when you bounce from the foundation to where you got in!
Why do myopics like elevators? A box they can read!
Why do railroads like elevators? The elevator biz is up not sideways. No competition!
There are elevators on some ships, airships!
Why would the creative sing hers in elevators? It's better to shout awomen!
Did you hear about how a mogul got rich in the elevator biz? How so? Simple "Buy low and sell high!"
..
Friday, September 14, 2007
Music
As you may find from the following, I'm not a fan of old music (except before like 1750) but old wild celebrations are alright!
They'll know you're a real musician when you even put their audio memos up to the Post Office Box to hear!
If you breathe music, you sleep music, and eat music, to you, after silence, music comes closest to a visual whiff n poof.
*******
Music is the only cheap thrill in life without a vice squad and a raid, if the wife sez so.
-
Signs The Concert You're Attending is The Real Wave Radio
It's hosted by Mamma IV and the Hug Station. Signs The Concert You're Attending is The Real Wave Radio
"Amplifiers" are just big flower urns. Most songs contain a plug for Ear Attenuation.
You're asked to put on a hat and sunglasses and the next thing you know, you're being introduced as The Boss.
Hoss sitting next to you brought a zoom and has already seen 20 orbits of the Halos comets.
They're playing "Turn Up Shag, Not Music, The Rug, The Rug! Maria".
You spot Mariah stage-diving, and the crowd is chanting, "Moussse! Moussse! Mousse!"
They're playing "Turn Up Shag, Not Music, The Rug, The Rug! Maria".
You spot Mariah stage-diving, and the crowd is chanting, "Moussse! Moussse! Mousse!"
-
Glossary of Music
Adagio: When you put lo salt herbs on a music site.
Accidentals: Notes you got smashing up your Yugo while playing the marimba tune at 200 mph.
Ad Librium: When your wife eats all the 80's Volumes of Madonna in the shush room, and you want more extemporaneus sounds.
Allegro: When you play runs on the violin with itty bitty boots on your hands.
Altered Chord: When you offer the Yamaha line of Ovations to the power station as an offering to the world to come.
Atonality: When they would know the words but not the sound in 1905, and will in BC 1000.
Augmented fifth: A Band of Jug Booze to go.
Glossary of Music
Adagio: When you put lo salt herbs on a music site.
Accidentals: Notes you got smashing up your Yugo while playing the marimba tune at 200 mph.
Ad Librium: When your wife eats all the 80's Volumes of Madonna in the shush room, and you want more extemporaneus sounds.
Allegro: When you play runs on the violin with itty bitty boots on your hands.
Altered Chord: When you offer the Yamaha line of Ovations to the power station as an offering to the world to come.
Atonality: When they would know the words but not the sound in 1905, and will in BC 1000.
Augmented fifth: A Band of Jug Booze to go.
.......
Breve: Army Navy Air Force; The National Anthem sung in the rain before you go for a sail in your cushion in a boom in the arena.
Cadenza: When they all jump up in the air in opera, sort of a wave in the arena, except with no music most of the time.
Clausula: When Santa sees the women in swimwear slide past in the wave machine, and he when sees the Mrs.
Compound Meter: A rondezvous where a follower and the beautious lady unify for exersis-sing.
Counterpoint: Highest note ever heard by those above the contenental shelf in a submarine. Still taught in many colleges, a sleep learning science.
Countertenor: An over the shelf hash pitcher who always sings in R Round.
Da Capo al Fine: When she applauds his real shag rug during the show.
Detache: When musicians yell so loud their orthodontist and opthamologist saves.
Discord: Music played by wife so you know she likes you because of just how she bangs pots and pans, derived from the original greek, "dishchord" a washing machine.
Estampie: A pizza hut memo they put on ads to AZ.
Fermata: A brand of cheeze made especially for opera singers, a lot like Dolby or Colby but with lots of shouts.
Gregorian chant: A way of singing in unison, invented by monks to save Ma Bell on the rates.
Harmonic Minor: An infant who is way out of tune no matter if he isn't.
Harmony: Cash paid for comics.
Heroic Tenor: When your teen burps a song without a bread machine.
Interval: Distance between sounds, where you know neither but someone somewhere realizes realize about the speed of light and the Mandelbrot Set.
Isorhythm: One memo to the stars, "What's wrong with my Lexus"?
Isorhythmic motet: A jug band in one ear and Bose in the other.
Lasso: "Rare" song "unherd" outside the west
Mean-Tone Temperament: When the music is so bad you hope for silence is the golden rule, solved by AN, not Anti Noise, "Noel Already!"
Messiah: An oratorio by Handel performed at Christmas by orators who have rehearsed, and many who have stopped rehearsing.
Motet: When the kid you hired clipped the lawn out of tune with weed tweezers.
Musica ficta: A music of faith, when the landlord generously allows too much from others but sends up heat religiously, or once a month at Memorial Day.
Neums: A way to remember names of songs on the radio without no goofs, see you remember me already!
Orchestral Suites: What makes opera go on till the sings lady fat.
Pause: When paid to rest for hours in 4/4 time if real bad on the drums, but then who can be on the drums if in jail for dipping a blendor in the ocean?
Prolation: When you make it to the NCAA, and you know what the weather is like at the top-A Major will win.
Recitative: Rap Music
Sine proprietate: When the song you wrote about The Price is Rich now owns your Yugo.
Tempo: Anywhere in a song you are and how to get there by 4/3 of physics.
Tempus imperfectum: Atomic Watch without a built in fatbust machine.
Tempus perfectum: Einstein's atomic wrist watch with built in timer, train station, and the starship suprise.
Trill: What it feels like being near the high wire goddess when you're in the circus.
Trope: What your wife the high wire goddess will never do over a 900 Mhz wire!
Trotto: A horse who yells faster than marathons out west.
Vibrato; Shaking of the church walls and roof when the doctor is called out during worship by the nurse..
Cadenza: When they all jump up in the air in opera, sort of a wave in the arena, except with no music most of the time.
Clausula: When Santa sees the women in swimwear slide past in the wave machine, and he when sees the Mrs.
Compound Meter: A rondezvous where a follower and the beautious lady unify for exersis-sing.
Counterpoint: Highest note ever heard by those above the contenental shelf in a submarine. Still taught in many colleges, a sleep learning science.
Countertenor: An over the shelf hash pitcher who always sings in R Round.
Da Capo al Fine: When she applauds his real shag rug during the show.
Detache: When musicians yell so loud their orthodontist and opthamologist saves.
Discord: Music played by wife so you know she likes you because of just how she bangs pots and pans, derived from the original greek, "dishchord" a washing machine.
Estampie: A pizza hut memo they put on ads to AZ.
Fermata: A brand of cheeze made especially for opera singers, a lot like Dolby or Colby but with lots of shouts.
Gregorian chant: A way of singing in unison, invented by monks to save Ma Bell on the rates.
Harmonic Minor: An infant who is way out of tune no matter if he isn't.
Harmony: Cash paid for comics.
Heroic Tenor: When your teen burps a song without a bread machine.
Interval: Distance between sounds, where you know neither but someone somewhere realizes realize about the speed of light and the Mandelbrot Set.
Isorhythm: One memo to the stars, "What's wrong with my Lexus"?
Isorhythmic motet: A jug band in one ear and Bose in the other.
Lasso: "Rare" song "unherd" outside the west
Mean-Tone Temperament: When the music is so bad you hope for silence is the golden rule, solved by AN, not Anti Noise, "Noel Already!"
Messiah: An oratorio by Handel performed at Christmas by orators who have rehearsed, and many who have stopped rehearsing.
Motet: When the kid you hired clipped the lawn out of tune with weed tweezers.
Musica ficta: A music of faith, when the landlord generously allows too much from others but sends up heat religiously, or once a month at Memorial Day.
Neums: A way to remember names of songs on the radio without no goofs, see you remember me already!
Orchestral Suites: What makes opera go on till the sings lady fat.
Pause: When paid to rest for hours in 4/4 time if real bad on the drums, but then who can be on the drums if in jail for dipping a blendor in the ocean?
Prolation: When you make it to the NCAA, and you know what the weather is like at the top-A Major will win.
Recitative: Rap Music
Sine proprietate: When the song you wrote about The Price is Rich now owns your Yugo.
Tempo: Anywhere in a song you are and how to get there by 4/3 of physics.
Tempus imperfectum: Atomic Watch without a built in fatbust machine.
Tempus perfectum: Einstein's atomic wrist watch with built in timer, train station, and the starship suprise.
Trill: What it feels like being near the high wire goddess when you're in the circus.
Trope: What your wife the high wire goddess will never do over a 900 Mhz wire!
Trotto: A horse who yells faster than marathons out west.
Vibrato; Shaking of the church walls and roof when the doctor is called out during worship by the nurse..
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Wheel of Fortune
This dude winds $30,000 and they say Thirty thousand dollars! THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Why do they say this? So he'll win twice as much!
Some would say because the Wheel of Fortune is so easy to win, it's easy cash, but by inventing Spell Write they've assured that celebrity moms out west will not have to eat soup in Z to A order when jazzersizing! I'm telling the truth.
And, in all the times I've watched The Wheel I've never heard of anybody anywhere who's lost an Isuzu or even so much as $17.76 in the Chevrolet Revolution!
Gallstones are not boosted 67% on the wheel! It's aerobic if they are fit when it's the Final Go Round!
They say Wheel in the business PR events has a circus atmosphere-That's not a Wheel-it's a Turbo Boost Ring And They're Under The Big Pot!
On the Wheel they have the latest in headache solutions in the ads. There are no problems or so they say in these ads, many people watch these shows because they are the only relief good enough for headaches caused by so much cash!
I know the wheel web site is genuine, I remember soap operas where Vanna sings in the afterlife!
This one lady went on in swimwear and boxing gloves and won 10,000,000,000$ a trip to Aruba, and a PHD in biochemistry. How'd she do it? They asked her to pick the consonants and a vowel and in her boxing outfit she was savvy- she just picked rstlne!
This week is the Jeapardy Champions Competition, actually I've watched twice. Last March a woman won 250,000. I'm watching with high hopes for her, I can't wait to see what she will won!
They also have foreign versions The Wheel in other countries..
The Wheel in Dutch has Vanna White Water Rafting. She wears swimfins and swimwear and spinning umbrellas to cause good luck, the host is Boat Sailship. In Dutch When they whirl the RV on the Wheel in the final round, it's always a finmobile!
The Wheel is a giant shimmering bubble of foam. The Dutch parking lot is blue and and Olympic Sized, a sort of dive in cinema, after all who can park a raft?
-
One good thing about the Wheel is even while how they earn seems to be usually the same, the prizes and cash are always so unusual!
They have these emergency weather cautions on my box during the show sometimes, then back to Pat and Vanna, they just earned somebody another emergency luxury trip to Aruba!
Did you see The Wheel on October 10 08? The lady spun the 1 million dollar space on the Wheel in the first spin, won the main celebration without going bankrupt (just 20,000 or so)--then they took the one million dollar spin and put it in the small wheel at the Bonus round, just one in 27 chance she'll win (she's looking a bit dissapointed at this point, they aren't so generous with a million as she thought-but she was!) then she solves the puzzle, opens up the memo, and it's 1 million dollars -and 20,000 and 27 cents! I think she may have practiced on wheels or maybe she just has Spin The Web Softwear!
What's good about Vanna is she spells her commas so well in inspirational cheer, like when she walks in the rain she both swims and jogs in one exercise!
..
This dude winds $30,000 and they say Thirty thousand dollars! THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Why do they say this? So he'll win twice as much!
Some would say because the Wheel of Fortune is so easy to win, it's easy cash, but by inventing Spell Write they've assured that celebrity moms out west will not have to eat soup in Z to A order when jazzersizing! I'm telling the truth.
And, in all the times I've watched The Wheel I've never heard of anybody anywhere who's lost an Isuzu or even so much as $17.76 in the Chevrolet Revolution!
Gallstones are not boosted 67% on the wheel! It's aerobic if they are fit when it's the Final Go Round!
They say Wheel in the business PR events has a circus atmosphere-That's not a Wheel-it's a Turbo Boost Ring And They're Under The Big Pot!
On the Wheel they have the latest in headache solutions in the ads. There are no problems or so they say in these ads, many people watch these shows because they are the only relief good enough for headaches caused by so much cash!
I know the wheel web site is genuine, I remember soap operas where Vanna sings in the afterlife!
This one lady went on in swimwear and boxing gloves and won 10,000,000,000$ a trip to Aruba, and a PHD in biochemistry. How'd she do it? They asked her to pick the consonants and a vowel and in her boxing outfit she was savvy- she just picked rstlne!
This week is the Jeapardy Champions Competition, actually I've watched twice. Last March a woman won 250,000. I'm watching with high hopes for her, I can't wait to see what she will won!
They also have foreign versions The Wheel in other countries..
The Wheel in Dutch has Vanna White Water Rafting. She wears swimfins and swimwear and spinning umbrellas to cause good luck, the host is Boat Sailship. In Dutch When they whirl the RV on the Wheel in the final round, it's always a finmobile!
The Wheel is a giant shimmering bubble of foam. The Dutch parking lot is blue and and Olympic Sized, a sort of dive in cinema, after all who can park a raft?
-
One good thing about the Wheel is even while how they earn seems to be usually the same, the prizes and cash are always so unusual!
They have these emergency weather cautions on my box during the show sometimes, then back to Pat and Vanna, they just earned somebody another emergency luxury trip to Aruba!
Did you see The Wheel on October 10 08? The lady spun the 1 million dollar space on the Wheel in the first spin, won the main celebration without going bankrupt (just 20,000 or so)--then they took the one million dollar spin and put it in the small wheel at the Bonus round, just one in 27 chance she'll win (she's looking a bit dissapointed at this point, they aren't so generous with a million as she thought-but she was!) then she solves the puzzle, opens up the memo, and it's 1 million dollars -and 20,000 and 27 cents! I think she may have practiced on wheels or maybe she just has Spin The Web Softwear!
What's good about Vanna is she spells her commas so well in inspirational cheer, like when she walks in the rain she both swims and jogs in one exercise!
..
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Real Comics From Real Weather Maps! When Is March This Year?
When the carplane will start even if it's a ship!
And if it's a yacht, "You're rich, You're rich!"
..
Dogs can sniff out unfair situations and are jealous when the other dog is praised Austrian researchers reported Monday. Even so the dog won't or will sue the woman who lives with flower boxes up the street, she has 257 stations!---
..
..
I read in the memos where a drunk driver ran over himself after he fell out of his car with no serious injuries and the machine continues off, he says hopefully he'll recieve what he deserves for being moderately active!
"Choochy the Runaway poodle delays flights at Boston airport for 17 hours and 7 planes while they chased the pooch round."
Arf they will go into the wild blue yonder, in months!
..
"Relatives settled a 16-month cat custody battle in MO."
The egyptian goddess always wins, no doubt!
-
There are good herbs, a great herb would stop the dog barking and smooth out heat waves!-
Did you hear about that man who returned where he lived for business and a drunk woman was on the roof? The woman said, "7 11's are on the house!"
I saw this ad today, if you sweat in the heat it's great to wear a coat in Miami beach! You win more if the swimmers wear ear muffs!
HIGHLIGHTER LIGHTS!
What should you do if you can't find your SUV?
Don't consult your oracle, so she won't feel consulted! GPS is a trained brain map reader!
My math must be improving, I found out I didn't even know 3 8s are 27!
I put my writing in a book with broad margins to add in more by a line to the word there for editing, better than audio, audio has 'dom access! Always a copy! Plus comedy to add in via page and joke number, in the volume, my dutch is more pronunci-ocean! Thus, by this method, no joke is used twice, no recycling, an unwritten law for authors!
"Rich or poor, it's always nice to have lots of money!" And smart or dumb it's always nice alive or not, to reach the kingdom come and afterlife!
....So rich, he calls his maid via his 8000 number in another country country and zip, two zooms up!
What should you do if you're overweight? Find a cute luxury dermatologist, tell her comedy is good exercise!
What is a truck that carries vans? An original Van Go!
How to relieve jet lag?
Count sheep at 3000 mph!
We hear all this stuff about the housing bubble and global warming. Big Deal so What! To me it's like a Wave Power RV!
What's good for dry eye from typing in? Just watch more sad cinemas! A good cry always helps!
If you got tired hands typing it would be good to have gloves or a wrist band to stretch your hand out not just in while you type, who says you can't type with mittens on in the AC, with my reflexes right!
If you drop all your cash and then pick up all your cash and coins, who says the rich don't exercise more than the false sense of accomplishment biz rate!
..
RAT HUMOR-
"Did you know Disneyland has had the 2nd largest navy of anywhere in the world?"
"Wow! Viva la Mozzerella, Blue Cheeze!"
"Did you know a person can get ill just from use of a mousetrap?"
"Don't worry, there are no mouse traps in Disneyland. I got the advantage in 1879 but I died and and now I'm alive more often!"
"Wow! A Complete Cure!"
L; It's true that Disney was actually afraid of mice? How did he edit?
R; "A giant modem."
-
...What does a rat wear to think about cheeze?
A rat's hat!
These days the fad is pet rats..this is nothing new. They had them in the 17 and 18 hundreds each night.
And if they pierce their nose, they smell the Marigolds better!
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, and a bone in her nose!
"How does a mouse realize if he's in mouse heaven?"
"A fountain of rummage!"
.....
Two rats were talking, and one said to the other, "If you were challenged to a duel, and Wii Fi's were named as the weapon, and you sing so bad you laugh so much it bruises the wall, has justice been done?"
--
The other says, "Not if you've not seen me sing and play!"
......
.
Why didn't the mouse sell his Christmas mug?"
Not a creature was stirring, even with a bread machine!
-
"Did you know Disneyland has had the 2nd largest navy of anywhere in the world?"
"Wow! Viva la Mozzerella, Blue Cheeze!"
"Did you know a person can get ill just from use of a mousetrap?"
"Don't worry, there are no mouse traps in Disneyland. I got the advantage in 1879 but I died and and now I'm alive more often!"
"Wow! A Complete Cure!"
L; It's true that Disney was actually afraid of mice? How did he edit?
R; "A giant modem."
-
...What does a rat wear to think about cheeze?
A rat's hat!
These days the fad is pet rats..this is nothing new. They had them in the 17 and 18 hundreds each night.
And if they pierce their nose, they smell the Marigolds better!
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, and a bone in her nose!
"How does a mouse realize if he's in mouse heaven?"
"A fountain of rummage!"
.....
Two rats were talking, and one said to the other, "If you were challenged to a duel, and Wii Fi's were named as the weapon, and you sing so bad you laugh so much it bruises the wall, has justice been done?"
--
The other says, "Not if you've not seen me sing and play!"
......
.
Why didn't the mouse sell his Christmas mug?"
Not a creature was stirring, even with a bread machine!
-
Monday, September 3, 2007
Mom’s Labor Day of Rest for Christmas
In the source of the orbs
At the heart of all zephyr and wooze
She knows just how well the hands of time will march
Like a cosmic watch powered by celestial booze
If the bleachers in August will boom in zoom rooms
The Braves will find waves in the rain
Knowing much more than TV ads about schmooze
She's saved us much more than our brain
When the ruffs have by floss no more waffles in reams
And roofs just by counting more sheep sew more jeans
And when mom’s heard the 10,000th ruse
She always seems to know just what’s up at the zoos
Thousands of whirls of rockets, silk, age for us
12billion percent more than her maxi-mom wage for us
Glory That Shines in the Dawn
With Radio
Images, Works Her Wonders Broadcast
Opals, Sapphire
Praised For
Amazing Us; We Love You,
Love
mOm!
In the source of the orbs
At the heart of all zephyr and wooze
She knows just how well the hands of time will march
Like a cosmic watch powered by celestial booze
If the bleachers in August will boom in zoom rooms
The Braves will find waves in the rain
Knowing much more than TV ads about schmooze
She's saved us much more than our brain
When the ruffs have by floss no more waffles in reams
And roofs just by counting more sheep sew more jeans
And when mom’s heard the 10,000th ruse
She always seems to know just what’s up at the zoos
Thousands of whirls of rockets, silk, age for us
12billion percent more than her maxi-mom wage for us
Glory That Shines in the Dawn
With Radio
Images, Works Her Wonders Broadcast
Opals, Sapphire
Praised For
Amazing Us; We Love You,
Love
mOm!
Friday, June 8, 2007
COMICS A2Z
I think Upppp Airways would most be improved by a high level meeting of AHHH Unanamous!
...
AHHH!/ I've found great relief with pleasure, I live near this woman who exercises with cheeze, she chewses to be fit!
AUTO/Wheels have a lot of EMF. Some people go in the auto shop and it's a shock, when they see the prices.
..
I said, "Why rotate wheels? Just raise the world!"
.. AIR TRAVEL/Why we sympathise with airline hostesses. Their job is often at high pressure, and with long hours AM and PM, often in that order.
..
ALASKA Sarah Palin has a great idea to save money; A giant portable heat box to heat Alaska! Or, just air condition Mexico, who has more Christmas! . AGRICULTURE It's a cheap crop with reduced subsidys this year.. Personally I believe we must take action right away, like cashing out on that 47th rerun of Millionaire each time.
BEAUTY Women are with hair color like red and yellow, and if you see a lot of beauticians up in the branches in autumn you'll know why!
..
I saw a woman at party last month who's sweet, well actually she's so cozy, the roof melted! .
. BRILLIANCE I heard about this teen who was so amazing she was able to say the day of the year like in 1472, June the 12th was Monday, or March 35th 1627 was a Saturday. And I read she was on the beach and almost drowned in 1979. I say almost because the CPR team were so smart they saved her by way of her brilliance with this skill. You may wonder how her skill at knowing what day in 1908 saved her, simple, she told them, "Math to month resucitation!" ..
.
. BLIND DATE/"How was your blind date?" When they asked her to speak and she said, "I'm watching what I eat, Yum Yum!"
.. ..
BLONDES
..
Q: How do blonde braincells scream? A:YELLOW REAL GOLDEN.
..
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: HYDROG KNOW PEROXIDE
..
Q: How do you learn a blonde's intelligence? A: Ask her her name and number.
..
Q: How does a blonde stop conversational distractions? A: She starts to play the violin while she stops!
..
Q: If you see a blond going to London on a plane through all the radiance, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Ask to sit with her on a cloud.
..
I wrote a book for blondes and this is no problem because with some blondes I know she can read without a heat lamp!! .. BOOZE/What's great when they install a computer sofa with a broadband cushion in internet cafes? You wouldn't fall off the edge in 1,000 web seconds!
..
CATS AND DOGS make us feel like super heroes, they walk through walls 3 times a day with sound, so my brain lifts for life!
.
. CRIME/We Live in a town so small, the robbers ask if you have money and if not they lend a VISA!
..
CHRISTMAS/If you have a plugged in Xmas, your trimmer mower throws the lights and icicles and ornaments and star on the branches, and first it trims it.
..
They now have a Hallmark Sounds Good Card that is guaranteed to be amazing, it's the story of ROM and URL ette, the song is worth 25,000 in platinum chips saved from 25 years ago in the stone age when ROM was throwing stones and chips to URLettes window, updated for the 29.95 s.
..
To make your Christmas economic, why not sell or rent your old resolutions? If you got good use of them others may also rent them to own..
..
COLLEGE/ What's the most important inspirational motivation for college seniors the finals? Exercises with the sweet marm.
..
Cleaning/Why should a machine sweep my floor? With all the sofas on mine, labor is more saving!
.
DIET/I've been dieting, and I'm real fit, Real Fit. I was doing my marathon exercises the other day and fell. Landed on the higher floor.
Plant food seems to not be a trend, it's here to stay. Why? If you're a gardener, you already have lots!
ELECTRONICS/You know you have a cheap CD player, if the laser beam is a cheeze warehouse bizboom!
Even so this is grate if all your songs you like are sharp or round!
..
EXERCISE/There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She must have liked to jog a lot for fitness, if her room was a Triple Wide! .
. FITNESS/The health trend was so wild in the 90's sumo wrestlers were taking up Golden Gloves to stay overweight after having trouble opening chips boxes. ..
GARDENING/I've found how to cash in on the health and fitness boom, a diet where eating so much munchies for exercise they stay fit by weeding.
.
HEALTH/ I saw this ad "New Invention Allows you to Stay Young Forever!! GUARANTEE works or your money back." But if you pay the 19.95? Is it yours to save for a million years?
...
My father was always concientious about Halloween. If there was an alarm at the haunted house, he would yell, "A high level meeting of the AAA!"
....
HOUSE/Have you heard of the rug doctor, when you arrive at the ER, the RN is all hot and fuzzy!
.
HOUSE/I see this business PR where they say you can add metal roofing over your existing roof. It works well even for thatched roofs but you have to wait till 227 BC in the rain for the biz to arrive for some ye old roofs!
...
JOKES /Thanks to VHS, old jokes never die, they just rest and then ascend unceremoniously to cartoon heavan!
..
KIDS/Kid to father, "Even if candy spoils my dinner, it's good to know exercise is good for Victoria Principal and me!"
LIFE/"Don't look back" so they say. If you do a mysterious transformation may make your wife turn into a road map!
..
Welcome wagon when you move in the neighborhood, you hope they bring a few installments. No floss, just inlaws !
MATH, The order to operate in algebra is MDSA, Multiply, Divide, Add Subtract, My Dear Aunt Sally. What's good about Aunt Sally is her weather maps are 50/75 with rain on one side and blessed light on the other! She's so strong she doesn't flip a coin, she flips GPS and the Old World!
..
Motels/What's a healthy cleaning woman? One who has mania klepto and saves lots of towels from the occupants to the biz.
.
MOTORCYCLES/What's good about motorcycles? You save on wheel alignment!
..
A motorcycle is like ah, youth when the boss arrives on his 10,000 Yamaha acting like a infant!
MONEY/What's it like to be rich? I've read it's where you live in a house in Beverly Hills, start the washing machine, and the swimming pool spins around!
...
MONEY/Life is funny, you take out 100,000 worth of fire insurance, and when your Christmas Lights on the roof you never took down to save power light up in August anyway!
....
MUSIC/Can you imagine, if Elvis were alive today, looking up and saying to the secretary, Write this down PeggySue, "Awh Ahuh Uh!"
..
Some have music in their veins and are willing to play for glory, but even so they're willing to accept an IV of platinum cash for a sold out recording contract..
There's a rumor, so far unconfirmed. There will be a Beatles Reunion this year, live!
They say Bach or Beethoven musicians aren't paid a lot but anyone who's strong enough to pack up a concert grand after each show with the Boston Harmonic, must be in good with lots of moving biz!
It's easy to play an instrument by ear with both ears if one ear plucks and the other modulates!
Mozart died young. He just lived to be 35. At any rate it seemed like he was 28 most of his life...
NEIGHBORS/How to know if they're loud. If the owner of the nearby train asks them to not yell while they're in the station!
.
OPTIMIST/What's a optimists hopeful weather report in August? Snow in the form of rain and heat in March, and March.
.
OUTDOORS/High Resolution is like bringing the outdoors right in your living room, and the stars like Vanna reach RV niRVana!
.
OHIO/Did you know Ohio is upside down? The underwater motel off the beach is the land down yuppers!
.
. PIZZA/What value! What wealth in pizza bread! At the local take out pizza biz they use a simple form you fill out or in, "What will be your total worth last month after expenses?" .. PERSONALITIES
..
S; Do you know who I am?
C; Was "Rich" A trick question when you were seen last on The Price is Right?
.
. PERSONALITIES/Deep down in her perm jug I realized she was a real sort of cosmotologist when she pulled a flood light out of her purse to lighten up her mirror!
..
REAL ESTATE/The contractor says we would be alright with 7/8 of a bathroom, even so the bowl sink and tub are like ancient greek geometry, hyperbowls with Ode to An Ancient Ur!
....
RELIGION/Many women have agreed with me about religion, like Sue a lady I know she believes in VISA once a month, and she's in the Heavenly Housecleaning Biz 24/7!
..
RESORTS/You always know when you're in a rich resort, the row boat wiith an exercise machine, a chandilier and a sauna!
. SUMMER/Droughts in summer are good for the economy. If it's a rainy day in the months saved up, April isn't a giant swimming pool.
..
. SLEEP/A sofa cushion good for sleep, and snuffle and driving pigs to market. The feline won't fall asleep on an empty stomach!
Felines are good for sleep when they whiff you. Purrfumes!
. SECRETARY/This secretary asked me TM, if I liked my memos double spaced or more. I said more, by the way what does TM have to do with memos? So she went out and bought two machines, Zen she had 4 and 8.. and Zen she had 20.....!
..
SAFETY/It's better to be safe. If you're in the hospital because of a injury, don't open any memo that says, GET WELL TOO SOON with a return stamp from The ER Unit of the County Medical Center.
.
.Soft Drinks/There are so many chemicals in soft drinks when you buy a pack at the Gomart you often take the Pepsi Challenge and end up in zoom with the stars and remember Halleys, the national anthem, and the stars in shboom shboom swirls of fizz!
..
SPACE EXPLORATION/What would be good about the lawn when living on the moon in 2057? The lawn is always trimmed with Christmas alumium!
SPORTS/Did you hear about that thief who unwisely tried to rob a Ju Jit Su Training Biz the other day? Even the CashBox Machine knew the moves, the thief wasn't leaving real fast.
. TIME/Mom has high speed AccuWeather, When she looks outside and she sees if the weather mop is wet or dry and she looks at the heat mirage, mom knows a lot more about meterologists like us than we might think. ..
TRAINS/Did you know trains cause exercise fitness? When you live by the station, you can easily lose weight. When the Amtrack goes by, you stand around and shake for 3 hours!
...
TRAVEL/These safety belts than automatically strap you in, this isn't so amazing. They already had this in the old days, when father was all tied up in the finmobile, and the infants played Roy and Buck with mom.
. TELEVISION/One good thing about The Travel Channel, they're always moving to 20 more high res AM/FM stations.
..
. TELEPHONE/ When I pay Ma Bell with the IOU is when I rewind up most of my conversations for the month!
....
TECHNOLOGY/What's good about starship cyber type radio? Subtitles are of a much higher elevation these days.
...
UFO/If you look under the hood of a most out of this world dish it's not too suprising if it's... "57 flavors!" ..
VAN GOUGH/Van Gough would have been a good solid gold musician. He just had one ear!
...
WEATHER/Alaska is where they go to sleep and wake up, and wake up in the AM when they go to sleep, good sleeping, sounds like price saving alarms I've seen, you save more on a saving binge than on a buying binge..
There are just two things you can do when you're rich, spend or save, It's not so bad; actually you can always try combinations of the 200,000!
WEST/Out west is where if you ride a tractor at the speed limit with your mouth open to say cheeze you're living life in the faith lane!
.
I think Upppp Airways would most be improved by a high level meeting of AHHH Unanamous!
...
AHHH!/ I've found great relief with pleasure, I live near this woman who exercises with cheeze, she chewses to be fit!
AUTO/Wheels have a lot of EMF. Some people go in the auto shop and it's a shock, when they see the prices.
..
I said, "Why rotate wheels? Just raise the world!"
.. AIR TRAVEL/Why we sympathise with airline hostesses. Their job is often at high pressure, and with long hours AM and PM, often in that order.
..
ALASKA Sarah Palin has a great idea to save money; A giant portable heat box to heat Alaska! Or, just air condition Mexico, who has more Christmas! . AGRICULTURE It's a cheap crop with reduced subsidys this year.. Personally I believe we must take action right away, like cashing out on that 47th rerun of Millionaire each time.
BEAUTY Women are with hair color like red and yellow, and if you see a lot of beauticians up in the branches in autumn you'll know why!
..
I saw a woman at party last month who's sweet, well actually she's so cozy, the roof melted! .
. BRILLIANCE I heard about this teen who was so amazing she was able to say the day of the year like in 1472, June the 12th was Monday, or March 35th 1627 was a Saturday. And I read she was on the beach and almost drowned in 1979. I say almost because the CPR team were so smart they saved her by way of her brilliance with this skill. You may wonder how her skill at knowing what day in 1908 saved her, simple, she told them, "Math to month resucitation!" ..
.
. BLIND DATE/"How was your blind date?" When they asked her to speak and she said, "I'm watching what I eat, Yum Yum!"
.. ..
BLONDES
..
Q: How do blonde braincells scream? A:YELLOW REAL GOLDEN.
..
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: HYDROG KNOW PEROXIDE
..
Q: How do you learn a blonde's intelligence? A: Ask her her name and number.
..
Q: How does a blonde stop conversational distractions? A: She starts to play the violin while she stops!
..
Q: If you see a blond going to London on a plane through all the radiance, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Ask to sit with her on a cloud.
..
I wrote a book for blondes and this is no problem because with some blondes I know she can read without a heat lamp!! .. BOOZE/What's great when they install a computer sofa with a broadband cushion in internet cafes? You wouldn't fall off the edge in 1,000 web seconds!
..
CATS AND DOGS make us feel like super heroes, they walk through walls 3 times a day with sound, so my brain lifts for life!
.
. CRIME/We Live in a town so small, the robbers ask if you have money and if not they lend a VISA!
..
CHRISTMAS/If you have a plugged in Xmas, your trimmer mower throws the lights and icicles and ornaments and star on the branches, and first it trims it.
..
They now have a Hallmark Sounds Good Card that is guaranteed to be amazing, it's the story of ROM and URL ette, the song is worth 25,000 in platinum chips saved from 25 years ago in the stone age when ROM was throwing stones and chips to URLettes window, updated for the 29.95 s.
..
To make your Christmas economic, why not sell or rent your old resolutions? If you got good use of them others may also rent them to own..
..
COLLEGE/ What's the most important inspirational motivation for college seniors the finals? Exercises with the sweet marm.
..
Cleaning/Why should a machine sweep my floor? With all the sofas on mine, labor is more saving!
.
DIET/I've been dieting, and I'm real fit, Real Fit. I was doing my marathon exercises the other day and fell. Landed on the higher floor.
Plant food seems to not be a trend, it's here to stay. Why? If you're a gardener, you already have lots!
ELECTRONICS/You know you have a cheap CD player, if the laser beam is a cheeze warehouse bizboom!
Even so this is grate if all your songs you like are sharp or round!
..
EXERCISE/There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She must have liked to jog a lot for fitness, if her room was a Triple Wide! .
. FITNESS/The health trend was so wild in the 90's sumo wrestlers were taking up Golden Gloves to stay overweight after having trouble opening chips boxes. ..
GARDENING/I've found how to cash in on the health and fitness boom, a diet where eating so much munchies for exercise they stay fit by weeding.
.
HEALTH/ I saw this ad "New Invention Allows you to Stay Young Forever!! GUARANTEE works or your money back." But if you pay the 19.95? Is it yours to save for a million years?
...
My father was always concientious about Halloween. If there was an alarm at the haunted house, he would yell, "A high level meeting of the AAA!"
....
HOUSE/Have you heard of the rug doctor, when you arrive at the ER, the RN is all hot and fuzzy!
.
HOUSE/I see this business PR where they say you can add metal roofing over your existing roof. It works well even for thatched roofs but you have to wait till 227 BC in the rain for the biz to arrive for some ye old roofs!
...
JOKES /Thanks to VHS, old jokes never die, they just rest and then ascend unceremoniously to cartoon heavan!
..
KIDS/Kid to father, "Even if candy spoils my dinner, it's good to know exercise is good for Victoria Principal and me!"
LIFE/"Don't look back" so they say. If you do a mysterious transformation may make your wife turn into a road map!
..
Welcome wagon when you move in the neighborhood, you hope they bring a few installments. No floss, just inlaws !
MATH, The order to operate in algebra is MDSA, Multiply, Divide, Add Subtract, My Dear Aunt Sally. What's good about Aunt Sally is her weather maps are 50/75 with rain on one side and blessed light on the other! She's so strong she doesn't flip a coin, she flips GPS and the Old World!
..
Motels/What's a healthy cleaning woman? One who has mania klepto and saves lots of towels from the occupants to the biz.
.
MOTORCYCLES/What's good about motorcycles? You save on wheel alignment!
..
A motorcycle is like ah, youth when the boss arrives on his 10,000 Yamaha acting like a infant!
MONEY/What's it like to be rich? I've read it's where you live in a house in Beverly Hills, start the washing machine, and the swimming pool spins around!
...
MONEY/Life is funny, you take out 100,000 worth of fire insurance, and when your Christmas Lights on the roof you never took down to save power light up in August anyway!
....
MUSIC/Can you imagine, if Elvis were alive today, looking up and saying to the secretary, Write this down PeggySue, "Awh Ahuh Uh!"
..
Some have music in their veins and are willing to play for glory, but even so they're willing to accept an IV of platinum cash for a sold out recording contract..
There's a rumor, so far unconfirmed. There will be a Beatles Reunion this year, live!
They say Bach or Beethoven musicians aren't paid a lot but anyone who's strong enough to pack up a concert grand after each show with the Boston Harmonic, must be in good with lots of moving biz!
It's easy to play an instrument by ear with both ears if one ear plucks and the other modulates!
Mozart died young. He just lived to be 35. At any rate it seemed like he was 28 most of his life...
NEIGHBORS/How to know if they're loud. If the owner of the nearby train asks them to not yell while they're in the station!
.
OPTIMIST/What's a optimists hopeful weather report in August? Snow in the form of rain and heat in March, and March.
.
OUTDOORS/High Resolution is like bringing the outdoors right in your living room, and the stars like Vanna reach RV niRVana!
.
OHIO/Did you know Ohio is upside down? The underwater motel off the beach is the land down yuppers!
.
. PIZZA/What value! What wealth in pizza bread! At the local take out pizza biz they use a simple form you fill out or in, "What will be your total worth last month after expenses?" .. PERSONALITIES
..
S; Do you know who I am?
C; Was "Rich" A trick question when you were seen last on The Price is Right?
.
. PERSONALITIES/Deep down in her perm jug I realized she was a real sort of cosmotologist when she pulled a flood light out of her purse to lighten up her mirror!
..
REAL ESTATE/The contractor says we would be alright with 7/8 of a bathroom, even so the bowl sink and tub are like ancient greek geometry, hyperbowls with Ode to An Ancient Ur!
....
RELIGION/Many women have agreed with me about religion, like Sue a lady I know she believes in VISA once a month, and she's in the Heavenly Housecleaning Biz 24/7!
..
RESORTS/You always know when you're in a rich resort, the row boat wiith an exercise machine, a chandilier and a sauna!
. SUMMER/Droughts in summer are good for the economy. If it's a rainy day in the months saved up, April isn't a giant swimming pool.
..
. SLEEP/A sofa cushion good for sleep, and snuffle and driving pigs to market. The feline won't fall asleep on an empty stomach!
Felines are good for sleep when they whiff you. Purrfumes!
. SECRETARY/This secretary asked me TM, if I liked my memos double spaced or more. I said more, by the way what does TM have to do with memos? So she went out and bought two machines, Zen she had 4 and 8.. and Zen she had 20.....!
..
SAFETY/It's better to be safe. If you're in the hospital because of a injury, don't open any memo that says, GET WELL TOO SOON with a return stamp from The ER Unit of the County Medical Center.
.
.Soft Drinks/There are so many chemicals in soft drinks when you buy a pack at the Gomart you often take the Pepsi Challenge and end up in zoom with the stars and remember Halleys, the national anthem, and the stars in shboom shboom swirls of fizz!
..
SPACE EXPLORATION/What would be good about the lawn when living on the moon in 2057? The lawn is always trimmed with Christmas alumium!
SPORTS/Did you hear about that thief who unwisely tried to rob a Ju Jit Su Training Biz the other day? Even the CashBox Machine knew the moves, the thief wasn't leaving real fast.
. TIME/Mom has high speed AccuWeather, When she looks outside and she sees if the weather mop is wet or dry and she looks at the heat mirage, mom knows a lot more about meterologists like us than we might think. ..
TRAINS/Did you know trains cause exercise fitness? When you live by the station, you can easily lose weight. When the Amtrack goes by, you stand around and shake for 3 hours!
...
TRAVEL/These safety belts than automatically strap you in, this isn't so amazing. They already had this in the old days, when father was all tied up in the finmobile, and the infants played Roy and Buck with mom.
. TELEVISION/One good thing about The Travel Channel, they're always moving to 20 more high res AM/FM stations.
..
. TELEPHONE/ When I pay Ma Bell with the IOU is when I rewind up most of my conversations for the month!
....
TECHNOLOGY/What's good about starship cyber type radio? Subtitles are of a much higher elevation these days.
...
UFO/If you look under the hood of a most out of this world dish it's not too suprising if it's... "57 flavors!" ..
VAN GOUGH/Van Gough would have been a good solid gold musician. He just had one ear!
...
WEATHER/Alaska is where they go to sleep and wake up, and wake up in the AM when they go to sleep, good sleeping, sounds like price saving alarms I've seen, you save more on a saving binge than on a buying binge..
There are just two things you can do when you're rich, spend or save, It's not so bad; actually you can always try combinations of the 200,000!
WEST/Out west is where if you ride a tractor at the speed limit with your mouth open to say cheeze you're living life in the faith lane!
.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
